Happy Holidays! ...

A fork in the IA road . . . Agency Decision.

Through a very difficult decision, I have decided that I need to withdraw from CHI to another agency for my 2nd adoption from Russia. It has been extremely hard for me to come to this decision and I have tears writing this post. CHI has become like family to me and my sweet, little 19 mo darling son’s face is what I see in my mind when I think of CHI. My son’s adoption (Sep 2004) is, without a doubt, my best life decision. And, CHI helped make parenthood and my family a reality. For that reason, I will always have a love for CHI. I consider Dwyatt Gantt one of the kindest advocates of orphaned children that I know. His personal conversations with me about orphaned children was the very reason I signed with CHI in 6/2003 (1st adoption) and then again in 1/2006 (2nd adoption). Over the last 4 years, working with Nichole Deal (St Louis) and Dianne Atteberry (KS City) has been wonderful and I consider them personal friends. But, for my 2nd adoption, after 2 years since signing and 18 months waiting for a referral, I feel I need to move forward with an agency that seems to be completing adoptions for infant girls more timely. And, as we all know and recently experienced in 2006/2007, Russia can change policies and procedures at any time. Time is of the essence to bring my baby girl home.

My heart is saddened to be leaving CHI. I had dreamed of both my children having their cherished CHI teddy bears as reminders of the wonderful agency that initially helped to create our wonderful family. However, regardless of agency, anytime children and parents are united in a forever family, it is a joyful experience.

It was very, very difficult to make that decision to withdraw from CHI. I agonized over it and grieved! But, I finally had to just take my personal relationships out of it and look at the facts of all the agencies I had recently researched throughout Dec/Jan. It was very obvious, given my pro/con paper outline. I shed a few tears when I told CHI. Dianne A. called me this morning (I knew she would), and I did tear up when I heard her voice. So many wonderful people! But, just not the right timing for my 2nd adoption. I just got “stuck” and it just didn’t seem like I could get past it. In fact, I almost gave up the 1st of Dec, thinking I was meant to only have 1 child. But, God prompted my heart while I was writing our Christmas letter, “your family is not complete yet”. I knew someone was missing during the holidays. My favorite scripture verse came to mind, Consider it ALL joy. James 1. It is all joy . . . even in the discouraging moments . . . working to bring an IA child home. There is a little baby girl waiting for us to bring her home - IA children are so precious.

So . . . on to the new paperchase trail. My new agency is Adoption Ark, located in Illinois. And, Yes, I will still go to Kemerovo (my preferred region). AA works exclusively with a baby house in Prokopievsk, which is only a short 30-45 minute drive from Novokuznetsk (Nicky’s BH city). In fact, both cities use the same airport. The reason I wanted to stay somewhat close to the Kemerovo region is Nicky has 2 sisters in orphanages in Kemerovo City & Topki that I want to visit and we have many friends that I have made during Nicholas’ adoption and during the 2 years I searched for his sisters (so many wonderful people!). So, logistically, it just makes sense to go back to that particular region. However, at this point and after 2 years, I would have gone ANYWHERE! But, AA seems to have a very good history in this region for timely adoptions, especially with infant, baby girls. There just doesn’t seem to be the major delay (I’m still not sure why, maybe because they work exclusive with the BH?). Anyway, hopefully, we are on our way!

I am so glad I thought enough to keep my home study and I-171H updated. It has made the switch so much easier. I have step 1 (USCIS/Homeland Security) already done for a new dossier with AA. I will probably have my MOE Dossier ready in a week and hopefully, registered by the end of the month. According to how baby girl adoptions are moving for AA, I should be traveling in 4-6 months!

Many have asked me about the financial end . . . Yes, because my dossier was already in Russia, translated and registered – I will forfeit ALL my investment with CHI. Yes, it was a BIG factor in my decision. Yes, it is a SUBSTANTIAL amount (those that have been in the IA world for any length of time, will be able to do the math). And, Yes, I feel it will be WORTH IT in the end - MY DAUGHTER.

I, however, will always consider us a loyal CHI family . . .

The BIG Update

I have finally reached the I-171H update requirement point. Monday, I sent in all the paperwork and officially applied for an extension to this very important document. Since the I-171H expires after 18 months, what this means is, I have been "paper pregnant" for 18 + months. This now throws me into the "update" mode of IA processing. With the "Big" doc expiring, this means all other docs are expired as well.

(Sigh!) IA paperwork is a "hurry up & wait" game. You hurry, hurry to get your dossier completed so it can be sent to Russia to sit in line with all the other dossiers & then "wait". Then after 12, 15 or 18 months (depending on doc) it all starts to expire. It is like a domino effect, one after the other. Then you hurry, hurry again to get everything updated so it can once again - sit in line with all other dossiers & "wait".

(All I can say is) It's a good thing I'm a detail oriented person (that 'ole programmer in me) and I enjoy the paperwork chase, because I could wallpaper my home with all the paper that has been produced from both my adoptions.

Someday, it will end - Just Not Today!

My "Krasiva Syn" (beautiful son) . . .

(Reprint of article for CHI monthly newsletter - Tuesday, April 12, 2005)

Forever Joined In Love

My heart was pounding with anticipation. The long-awaited door opened. There he was! I bent down, with my outstretched arms. His big, bright-blue eyes slowly, carefully looked up at me. I saw the weight and pain of abandonment on his beautiful, innocent, baby face. Our eyes met . . . our hearts connected . . . the wonderful bond of love began. After a moment of hesitation, he gingerly, stepped forward, on one-year-old-toddler’s unsteady legs, into my waiting arms. As I wrapped my arms of love around him and pulled him close, wonderful tears of joy worked their way past my composed smile. Life stood completely still and this special once-in-a-lifetime-moment was frozen in time. After placing a mother’s tender kiss on his forehead, I gently whispered in his ear, “I’m your Mamma. I love you.” The rest of the world ceased to exist and I was conscious of only one thought, “For two years I carried this child in my heart, and this moment of “birth” makes us a precious family.”

A family is created in many different ways, but however procreation happens, what a wonderful, spiritual experience. As with any birth, there truly are no words to explain the rush of love when a child is placed in your arms. Parenthood became a reality for me through the joy of international adoption and what an incredible journey it has been. The country Russia is the birthplace of my son, Artyom Victorovich and the United States is where my son, Nicholas Ivan will grow to adulthood. He is both Russian and American, citizens of both countries for life.

After making the decision to adopt and researching international adoption agencies for several months, my heart was drawn to the orphans of Russia, a country where unemployment is high, alcoholism is commonplace, and thousands of children are left abandoned and institutionalized in baby houses and children’s orphanages. I wanted to make a difference in a waiting child’s life. It was the beginning of a wonderful journey of Love. When I began compiling my adoption dossier, early 2003, it was an overwhelming task of preparing documents: INS fingerprints, background reviews and endless notarized signatures. But, the end was always kept in mind, and a year later my dossier was complete. Late December, 2003, my precious dossier was sent to the Russian Region of Kemerovo, located in Siberia. With a mother’s faithful prayer and kiss on the front of the sealed envelope, my priceless documents left my hands. The hard part, however, was yet to come, the Wait . . .

I received the “call” from CHI (Children's Hope International) in mid July, 2004. My child was living in a Baby Home in the city of Novokuznetsk in south Siberia. The Wait was finally over. My life immediately became a whirlwind of activity preparing for the trips to Russia. Mid August was my goal and the travel date marked on my calendar.

To adopt in Russia, two trips in-country are required. The first is to meet the child and sign the “Petition to Court”, which begins the legal adoption process in Russia. This first trip is a week of grueling travel, sleepless nights and jet lag; nine hours from New York to Moscow, another four hours from Moscow to Novokuznetsk. Along with the air travel, come time zone changes and cultural differences. This was my first international trip overseas combined with becoming a new parent. Stepping off the plane onto Russian soil was a surreal experience for this Nebraska farm-girl. Once the plane landed in Novokuznetsk, though physically tired, excitement grew during the short, but incredibly long drive to the baby house. Literally, all was forgotten when I met my child for the first time. The joy of that moment superceded the enormous effort of literally traveling around the world.

The signed “Petition to Court” is combined with the translated dossier of the adoptive parent(s) to complete the court’s file. After four to eight weeks required for processing the adoption, a Russian court hearing is scheduled. The second trip is usually a total of 2-3 weeks, 1-2 weeks for the court hearing in the Kemerovo region; and another week for finalizing documents through the American Embassy in Moscow. After the court hearing, once the adoption decree is signed, the child can officially leave the baby house with the adoptive parent(s). Up until that time, I could only visit him for a couple of hours each day.

It was a Friday morning, when I walked into the baby house to say good-bye to the loving caregivers that took care of my little boy for several months. It was a wonderful day to finally hold him forever, but it was also emotional and many tears were shed, both Russian and American. As difficult as saying good-bye was, Artyom, now also, Nicholas, was leaving for a secure, loving home, his forever family. The hearts of the caregivers were broken, but hopeful for all the children in Baby House #2. I have special memories of everyone, but I will never forget “Babushka” (grandmother). She met us that special day at the gate to let us into the baby house. Her bright smile and ready kiss welcomed us. As I walked out of Baby House #2, with my son, tears of joy and sadness rolled down our faces, as she hugged and kissed little Tyoma (baby home nickname) for the last time. We spent the next few days in Novokuznetsk and in Kemerovo finalizing documents needed for Moscow. We then flew back to Moscow for the final week to complete the American Embassy requirements and finalize exit documents for Nicholas to leave Russia.

After two life-changing, schedule-driven weeks, we were finally ready to leave Moscow to fly home. Leaving Russia was bittersweet. Excited as I was to have my son with me, I also knew I was taking him from his birth country, not knowing when he would return. Over the course of my two trips, I had grown to love this country that had so graciously given me my son. So, with mixed emotions, we strolled through the narrow streets of Moscow for the last time, memorizing the sights and sounds. As with any toddler, not conscious of the implications of the afternoon’s flight, Nicky stopped to play in the Russian dirt of a cathedral garden. So, symbolically, we scooped up the precious dirt to take home. The flight back to New York City was an unusual day of sunshine for us. As you travel back through time zones, the sun literally never sets. It was a sign of our future together, full of sunny days of love and laughter. We had a wonderful greeting party of family and friends awaiting us at the airport, anxious to meet little Nicholas for the first time. September 24, 2004, we were finally home.

These days, Russia seems far away as our busy, daily schedule has taken over. But, as I rock and tuck Nicholas into bed each night, my mind always revisits those two weeks, two months, and two years that began our special adoption journey. Life has wonderfully changed, for a little boy and a want-a-be mama. For both of us, our dreams came true in a country so far, far away. We will forever think of Russia with Love.

Both chosen from Heaven above . . . Our Hearts forever joined in Love!