Year End 2013 ... Where are We Now?

Time to relax and exhale after a very busy Christmas with 2 precious children! As I sit with my coffee (ahhh, caffeine!) and start writing, I take a moment to reflect back on the year ... 2013 has truly been the busiest year (aka the most stressful year) I can remember (Yes, even more stressful than living in Pakistan)! I mentally list all that has been accomplished … and, I’m amazed at how it has all gotten DONE! I chuckle to myself because after each year, I think that the “next” year will be less hectic, but with 2 children (1 now a “tween” & 1 now a “preschooler”) the “busy” just moves J! ...  I just take a deep breath, exhale and consider it ALL Joy! J

So, what has gotten done? Very exciting news! ... But we will get to that later ... Right now, the “precious-ness” of my children! 

Nicholas Ivan – turned 11 years old in December, entrenched now as a “tween”! and in the 5^th grade. He is just such a conversationalist and negotiator these days, knowing “something” about “everything”. I chuckle as I watch him ... “working out a deal” with Mama. He is still very active in sports; Baseball, Soccer, Basketball, Football. Baseball (Mar, Apr, May) and Football (Aug, Sep, Oct) rank up there as the favs these days. Using his soccer skills, he was field goal kicker for his football team ... and loved it! He still absolutely loves baseball, especially pitcher (his fav). He is talking about swimming as his next sport (can’t let his little sister swim past him!) or maybe karate or even cricket (from the Meghji family in Pakistan)! Who knows what is next? He is just an all-around sports nut! 

Mama however, keeps him grounded in other things too ... he also has a gift of music and art, and excels in so many other areas. He is in his 4^th year of piano and I just love to hear him play. His formal musical recital was in December and he played“Minuet in G” by Bach ... absolutely beautiful! He has also played in Chapel for school ... with his “buddies” tackling him afterwards (I think in “tween” language that means they were proud of him? J) He truly loves to just pluck out a tune, playing by ear ... such a wonderful gift. And, he also loves to draw ... many versions of cars, trucks, planes are displayed on the refrigerator! He has made “artist of the week” at school and I love to see his artwork come home. I’m building his “collection” to be framed and hung (a bigger house is needed!) Nick also participates in Webelos (Cub Scouts) and raced his pinewood derby car to several wins in January. Camping (Sept-Oct) has become a scouting activity, with Mama as his camping buddy in October. I was in Pakistan when he had his “Mommy and Me” campout (2011 Uppa D, cousin Dalend Baney, was Mommy’s substitute) so we made up for it this year. The weather was perfect, the scenic woods were picturesque, the stars were magnificent, the tent was comfortable with a warm fire outside ... and it didn’t rain (very important for Mama’s camping enjoyment!) I just have so much fun with my Nicholas ... He is just pure JOY and the Love of my Life! J

Marina Grace - Our "Gracy Girl" is now 4.5 years old, turning 4 in June. She is the “whirlwind” in our family (Mama has to stay about 2 steps ahead of her at all times!) She is so active she becomes a “blur” at times. She moves in a constant “skip” (she loves, loves, loves to skip). Our regular caution to Gracy is “Slow down, you’re moving too fast!” During January-May, Gymnastics, Swimming and Soccer were Gracy activities ... and she loved it all! During soccer games, she would hold hands with another little girl and skip up and down the field ... Too Cute! J During the summer she learned to ride her big-girl bike (with training wheels) and she “decided” she no longer needs to wear a life-jacket swimming (Mama, however,  is the final decider!). She has amazed us all with her swimming ability ... at 4 years old, she swims down to the bottom of the pool, turns summer saults and back flips under water (without holding her nose!) and her cannon ball is outstanding (not much splash for such a little girl, but her form is perfect!). She started full-time pre-school in August and loves every minute of it. She can count up to 20, sing her ABC song and write her name ... she is so proud! (Mama too). I again love the toddler run to Mama at pick-up time, the breath-taking hug, all smiles and sticky kisses! She loves to read books and our bedtime routine is very important to her with “read another book, Mama?” She is a petite, not a very big-around little girl, but all arms and legs! She has always had “no fear”, giving it her all, 100% ... trying everything and anything before she even thinks! (Mama’s prayer is “Lord, protect her & slow her down!”). Dancing and singing are also favorites and she started ballet and tap in September. She loves to put on a “show” for us and loves to dance as her big brother plays the piano (truly, it is the most entertaining show in town! J). She is still a very “girly-girl” loving dress-up, make-up (caught applying Mama’s make-up so many times!) and she loves to play with hair (she finally succeeded in cutting her hair, but Mama was able to “trim”). With her big, bright, beautiful brown eyes that just twinkle when she smiles and laughs ... long beautiful brown hair that just shines ... Gracy is just beautiful, adorable and precious! J

On her medical front, we do have a diagnosis for Gracy’s neurological condition, Ventriculomegaly. No one knows when or how, but a blockage was formed in the Cerebral Spinal System inside Gracy’s brain and created a pooling of the cerebral spinal fluid, expanding the CSF ventricles to accommodate the extra fluid. Although enlarged brain ventricles is a major symptom of Hydrocephalus (Pakistan diagnosis), Gracy does not exhibit any other symptoms of Hydrocephalus ... so a reduced diagnosis. She is expected to eventually grow into her 90+% sized head! J Gracy’s severe tongue tie is actually the more significant medical issue for her at this time. Her tongue was released (July 2011 in Pakistan) and her language acquisition/English comprehension is now 100% for a 4 year old, but she struggles with speech articulation (Mama translates!). So, Gracy is in speech therapy, working on speech articulation. She loves speech therapy (fun, fun, fun!) She has exceeded and gained in all areas. When I took custody of Gracy in January 2011, her height was < 2% on the growth chart and her weight was not even on the growth chart. After 17 months in Pakistan, major supplements, massive doses of vitamins and iron, she arrived in the US, 2012 at a whopping 25% for height and 15% for weight.  Now ... 1.5 years later, she has gained 6 pounds and grown 6 inches, she is now 50% height and weight, YEAH! She is and always has been just perfect! My baby girl is growing up so very fast ... She is just pure JOY and the Love of my Life! J

Katy Sue – On a very, very sad note ... we lost our doggie in April (April 13, 2001-April 5, 2013). After losing the battle with a tumor, Katy passed away in her sleep, on a warm spring night, she was 12 years old ... It is still very hard to comprehend the loss of Katy. She was my doggie, my 1^st born, my sweet Katy dog.  I grieve every day and I miss her so much . . .

Mama/Mommy/Mom – I’ll just copy from last year’s letter ... “The best word to describe my life these days ... Busy with a capital “B”! Busy with the children and Busy managing LIFE!” ... I’m trying to “reinvent” myself these days ... into what I’m not exactly sure ... but I’ll get there! J  As I said last year, “Life is about change and I simply embrace it with Joy.”

OK, so now for the exciting news about Gracy’s legal case! On September 27, 2013 a US adoption decree was granted and signed ... Marina Grace Baney became officially and legally my daughter and I became officially and legally her mother! J Such a surreal and amazing moment in time, after 4.5 years of obstacles! Yes, it has been an overwhelming, extremely busy and exhausting year with 3 different legal processes for Gracy’s case. First, in February, beginning a new US domestic Home Study, finally completed in June (US adoption requirement). Second, the US Petition for Adoption, completed in August, many document revisions later, we were surprised by the Oklahoma family courts with an expedited court hearing date in September! Third, Gracy’s US immigration dossier for US permanent residency and US citizenship (US adoption decree & certificate of foreign birth a requirement). This “last” completed dossier was sent to our immigration attorney early December. We are hoping to file with USCIS for residency and citizenship right after the 1^st of 2014! Then, a 3-6 month wait for the ruling. Gracy’s Humanitarian Parole expires late May, 2014 so timing will be very close. Many have asked ... (1) “Is this it?” and (2) “Can she still be deported?” Those answers are (1) Yes, this is it! The final step is her permanent residency and US citizenship. We are hoping for a favorable ruling, but also know it may take several attempts, due to the case’s history. (2) Yes, she can still be deported under certain circumstances, but probably unlikely that will happen (but, nothing surprises me anymore!). And, we will take it as it comes, as a FAMILY! I ask you to please keep us in your prayers as we cross the finish line with Gracy’s case. Please pray for softened hearts ... for a little girl’s best interests.

So, that has been Mama’s year, paperwork, documents and dossers ... #1, #2 and #3! And, of course, the joy of parenting Nicky and Gracy! ... Believe me, there were many, many plates spinning in the air, each one a very “full” plate! The family blog (nrbfamily.blogspot.com) is so out-of-date!, but if you would like to read our adoption stories, the blog still has the many details of 2007-2012. And, I have pictures and a few updates from 2012 to current date on Facebook (ID nbaney). As for, “The Book” ... well, we will see about that ... maybe 2014 will give me time to turn my attention to consider another major project?  J

Other events of the year – In February, G’ma came to visit and broke her leg! G’ma stayed in Tulsa for surgery and rehab for 3+ months. An unfortunate accident, but we thoroughly enjoyed G’ma every day during her extended stay, until late May when she was finally able to travel home to Nebraska. April was Gracy’s Pakistani “Gotcha Day”. In June, Gracy’s 4^th b-day with a long weekend and baseball tournament in Branson, MO /Silver Dollar City and FUN! In July, a 10-day vacation in Austin, TX with the Shorman’s (Mama’s sister) and so many fun activities (complete with iFLY, indoor sky diving for Nick!). August, start of 5^th grade for Nicky and pre-school for Gracy. September, is now “Gotcha Day” for BOTH children, we celebrated with another fun trip to Branson/Silver Dollar City in MO! “Gotcha Day” wouldn’t be complete without our traditional “balloon release” in honor of global orphans ... we somehow worked it all in! October, a much-needed, relaxing 2 week vacation for Mama in Dubai, UAE with Karim Meghji (owner of the amazing Pakistani guest house we stayed 2011-2012). He is wonderful “Papa” and we video chat every day!  November, a wonderful Thanksgiving trip to G’ma/G’pa’s farm (complete with horseback riding!). December, Nick’s b-day (wild sleepover!) and finally ending the year with an amazing Christmas and an ice storm that gave everything a sparkle and a magical touch!

Whew, 2013 is now over! As I look around me, I STILL see toys on the floor, dishes in the sink, laundry piled high . . . but, LIFE has finally normalized ... I think? We are healthy and happy, safe and warm , together as a family looking forward to a new year, 2014! And, above all else, we treasure ALL our wonderful Blessings ... health, accomplishment, growth, purpose, fellowship, faith, childhood, family, laughter and love. And, yes, moments of sadness, challenges, disappointment and pain, but opportunities for blessings as well.

Our Heavenly Father gives us a strong, steady spirit to move forward through it all.

“Count it ALL Joy . . . “ (James 1)

With love to all our family & friends,

Nancy, Nicky & Gracy Baney (& Uppa D)

 

   

Happy Holidays! ...

Hello, from Pakistan - Nicholas & Baseball

I missed a very important summer milestone in my Nicky’s life this last week . . .

Saturday (6/26) – Nicky participated in the Tulsa Little League Pitch, Hit & Run Challenge. He is such a baseball lover . . . anytime he gets to “play ball” he is all about it! He won 2 trophies - 2nd in the Pitch & 2nd in the Run. Nicky tells me that he was in the top 5 for quite a while in the Hit category. He was so excited & practically wanted to sleep with his trophies Sat night! We are all so very proud of our little baseball player! Mama is very, very proud! I just wished I could have been there to see it ALL! :)

A WHITE Winter Wonderland . . .

In Honor of our Wonderful Holiday Snow Storm . . .

And, Nicky's favorite carol . . .

HAPPY HOLIDAYS !!!

Make photo slide shows at www.OneTrueMedia.com

It is snowing on Christmas Eve for the 1st time in many, many years! A white Christmas.

One of Nicky's Christmas wishes - SNOW - so he could play in the white stuff & build a snowman with Mama, while we both are on holiday & have the time to PLAY! He has definately gotten his wish . . . 8 inches expected by morning. In addition to Christmas tomorrow - we will have a fun snow day.

Now . . . where did I put those insulated gloves? Does Nicky have snow boots that still fit him??? Where did I put my snow boots . . .???

I'm sitting quietly, watching it come down - pure and white - untouched, no footprints - it is Beautiful!

Merry Christmas!

Mama & Nicky

School Days . . . ETS - brand new school!

Well, we have definately reached a milestone! Nicky has transitioned to First Grade and a brand new school this year.

It was bittersweet to leave the wonderful little daycare/school that we have attended for the last 4.5 years! Everyone (parents, children & teachers) said tearful goodbyes August 7, the last day!

And . . . now we begin a new chapter in our book of SCHOOL! Nicholas is attending a wonderful, private school close to our home. There are 8 children in his 1st grade class and he is doing just great! It was a transition with adjustment to a "real" school environment. He is one of the "little ones" again with the school going all the way through to 12th grade. He is wearing a uniform (he is just sooo cute in it!), taking his lunch everyday, no more afternoon naps and . . . doing HOMEWORK! But, my little guy is just doing great!

Here are some "New School" pictures!


Unpacking new backpack & uniforms!

School Supplies!

"First Day of School"



































And . . . another one, just because . . . it was too cute to leave out!

4 years ago . . . a Forever Family!

Today is "Adoption Day" & Tomorrow is "Gotcha Day"!

I can't believe it has been 4 years since I walked into a court room in Kemerovo City, Kemerovo Region, Russia (south central Siberia) and said "da" (yes) to being Mama to Artyom Victorovich/Nicholas Ivan, the most amazing, perfect child!!!!

I can still remember every single minute of that court hearing . . .
. . . the coordinator calling my name, the quick "this is it" joyful smile & glance to my cousin (Dalend, my rock!), the "I know" nod of his head & smile, the pounding of my heart, the click-click of my heels on the hallway floor - - And then, finally, walking into the court room.
. . . the prosecutor seated behind the desk, shuffling papers.
. . . the state guardian's smile as I stood in front of everyone.
. . . the kind eyes of my translator trying to make it as comfortable as possible (she stood next to me & one step behind me) ready to help me understand in any way she could.
and . . . of course . . . the Judge. Her stern look and steady questions, one after the other, never showing the slightest hint of emotion until after the verdict. Once the decision was made, she smiled & congratulated me; and stated I should bring Nicholas back to Russia one day to visit his homeland. She called him by his new name, Nicholas. It was the 1st time anyone on the Russian side of these proceedings called him by his new name. The way she said it still rings in my memory.

I was prepared for tough questions - - my single parenthood choice, my age, etc. And, as my translator, Gwyena, and I had practiced and prepared the day before . . . at least a 1-2 hour duration of tough questions to be answered as best I could, remembering all the "politically correct" terminology. But . . . it was relatively painless, lasting only 30 minutes. In hindsight, I believe, God's hand was upon that court hearing. He understood my naive mother's heart and honored my passionate spirit to become a parent.

What a defining, precious moment in time! I close my eyes and the memories of those 2 precious days come flooding back. Some memories remain as vivid today as the moment they occurred. Those memories are locked in time. I still can hear the judge pronounce her decision - - I was the mother of Artyom, of Nicholas - - I had a SON. Beautiful words . . . never to be forgotten!

The next morning, 9/17/04, endlessly waiting to return to Baby House #2 to FINALLY hold my baby boy forever, FOREVER! It was so bittersweet for his wonderful caregivers. At such a young age - the end of one chapter of life - beginning a new one! I remember him innocently toddling hand-in-hand, down the broken sidewalk between mama and the coordinator . . . unaware of the significance of the moment . . . walking out of the baby house . . . holding his future by one hand (mama) and his past with the other hand (coordinator) . . . America on one side, Russia on the other.

I just take a moment and stop today, reliving the memories of that special, precious time. 4 years later, the memories and feelings are just the same. I now look at my 5 yo little boy sleeping . . . and I remember the 20 mo, baby boy placed in my arms.

Beautiful little baby boy, Tyoma!

I have tried to find the perfect picture that shares my feelings for these 2 special days . . . I think the below series of pictures depicts it best . . . that "moment" when Nicholas was placed in my arms, FOREVER!

Enjoy the memories . . . !



BubbleShare: Share photos - Create and Share Crafts

Reminiscing . . . THE CALL

I have some good friends currently in Russia on their 1st trip meeting their 2.5 year-old daughter. (Thanks, Sherrie, for letting me live vicariously through you right now!!) I am so excited for them - on pins-n-needles waiting for news. Their situation is very similar to mine - they previously adopted a baby boy from Russia and now they are adopting a baby girl. Like me, they also have waited for over 2 years as well. I’ll admit, when I first read the email that they had received “the call”, I felt “why not me” (for 2 seconds . . . ok 3.). It is hard to read/hear of families traveling. But, the reality is, “It is their time, not mine.” I have grown to love the families that I share this incredibly, humbling journey of “wait” with . So, I try to objectively separate my own painful wait-feelings so I can respectfully share in the joy of their moment.

Having experienced the joy of International Adoption before, I can tell you, there is nothing like finally receiving “the call”! It is just amazing and such a surreal moment. Breaking the long wait with the call, is a foretaste to the once-in-a-lifetime moment when you will finally meet your child for the 1st time. Knowing it is finally REAL can literally take your breath away and make you weak in the knees. Most PAP's will remember the EXACT moment, where they were and who they were with, when the call finally comes.

So, during the painful “its not fair” part of this process . . . I decided to reminisce this afternoon . . . It helps me . . . I hope it helps you!

I remember it like yesterday . . . it was a Friday afternoon, mid July, and I was at work. During the summer, we have Friday afternoons off. So, not many were in the office. I was taking advantage of the quiet and peace of the uninterrupted afternoon. I was heads-down, totally focused, busy working on a project that had a looming deadline. I was deep in a difficult program’s procedure, trying to write and debug some complicated code.

At this point in time, my wait was over 7 months. I remember just a couple days before, on Wednesday, having a total melt-down over the “wait”. In 2004 a 7.5 month wait was a long wait, especially dossiers with no gender specification, like my dossier. I cried, knowing others with later dossiers were receiving their referrals before me (watching others go before me just seems to be part of my process, lol). After having a major crying spell, I once again poured myself into my work.

So, there I was, sitting at my desk . . . Friday, July 16, 2004, 2:00 p.m. . . . when the phone rang. I was just going to let it roll to my voice mail since I was totally deep in my program's code and didn’t want to be distracted. Nonchalantly, I looked up on the 3rd ring. I immediately snapped out of my work stupor as I noticed the caller ID was my agency’s phone number. Now, my agency had called me many times before, but somehow I knew this call was different. There were no outstanding documents to send, no outstanding issues to discuss. Somehow, I just KNEW this was IT. In a split second, a wave of adrenalin shot through me, starting at my toes and finally hitting the ends of my fingertips. My fingers were fumbling with the phone and I almost dropped the receiver while trying to keep it from rolling over to voice mail. I heard the precious words I had waited so long to hear. My case worker’s cheerful voice said, “Nancy, are you ready to go to Russia?” I remember the choking sob of joy in my throat, the elated feeling, the relief! I remember, LOL, trying to find my “green notebook” that I kept notes in for the adoption. It was my bible for recording anything and everything that I needed to do adoption-wise. Once again, I fumbled, trying to find the notebook, as well as, listen to my case worker at the same time. Only a few seconds had gone by, but it felt like time moved into slow motion and, to this day, I remember EVERY split second of answering that phone call.

I remember the questions I asked:
“What is the baby’s age?” – “No information”
“What is the baby’s gender?” - “No information”
“Are there medicals?” – “No medicals”
“Do you have ANY information on the baby?” - “Sorry, No information”
A total BLIND referral – Naively, I didn’t care, I was FINALLY going to see my child!

After talking about the timeline of the travel dates and travel instructions, I was in a dream state. The call lasted exactly 15 minutes. I know because I looked at the clock when I hung up, wanting to record the exact time. I sat in my chair with tears of relief rolling down my face. After a couple of minutes, the relief subsided and the incredible joy took over. I finally found my legs and I started dancing around my office, shouting for joy. Remember, I thought I was all by myself that afternoon - however, LOL, I wasn’t. One of my co-workers, close-by was there that Friday afternoon too. When she heard me, she poked her head into my office and saw me dancing and jumping around! When I saw her, I stopped, but then I just didn’t care who saw me. I grabbed her, hugged her and squealed “I got the call, I got THE CALL!” We held hands, jumping up/down. Thank you, Leann, for sharing in my special moment of joy!

I will never, ever forget that moment of “the call” – just one of the many “frozen-in-time” moments of becoming a parent to Artyom Victorovich/Nicholas Ivan, my beautiful, darling son.

I relive that precious moment now – Knowing it WILL come again, a 2nd time, for my precious daughter. For some reason, I am destined to endure long waits for my children. The reason why is still obscure and hidden from me. One day, I believe God will open my eyes/heart with the knowledge of that reason. In the meantime, "the call" will come in its own way, its own time – God’s perfect timing. So, I step back and reminisce, shed a few tears, take a deep breath, busy myself with living and . . .

. . . graciously endure these painful "its not fair" days, weeks, months, yes, even years.

. . . patiently wait for my precious daughter .

. . . joyfully watch other families travel .

And, when THE CALL does fianlly come, I'll be shouting for joy, doing the happy dance! Nicky and I have been practicing all afternoon!

The Birth Family - The Personal Before & After?

End Result:
The knowing is so much better than the not knowing.

However . . .

Before:
You meet this beautiful, wonderful child . . . Love! It is all that you have dreamed of and more. Total Commitment. Everything that comes with this child can and will be dealt with, everything. There is no going back, no desire to go back. It is a perfect fit, finally a family.

According to the child’s file, there is sketchy birth family information. Almost none, really. Two older siblings - all 3 children removed from the home environment and placed in orphanages with parental rights terminated by the state. Why? The only answer given, “unsocial way of life”. What does that mean? Your mind races with different explanation scenarios. But, you have already fallen in love, no turning back, even if the truth were known. You move forward, once again knowing, everything can be dealt with.

In court, you finally hear the explanation – the dysfunctional explanation. But, a second later, the judge asks you “Do you wish to adopt this child as your own?” Without hesitation you answer yes in Russian, “Da”. Once again, everything that comes with this child can be dealt with.

The two older siblings (sisters) work their way into your mother’s heart. You have to find them and know they are alright. Possibly adopt them too? Perhaps! However, the finding them is difficult, to say the least – after 2 years trying to work with the MOE, you are told to “forget the girls”.

You decide to go a different way – A Birth Family Search. Something you knew you would eventually do, but not this early in Nicholas’ life! Honestly, you wanted to enjoy the innocent fantasy of his past. Not knowing meant – innocent time. You move forward anyway, for the sake of 2 missing sisters.

The report comes back quickly. The birth mother is very easy to find. She is very willing to share the “why”. All of a sudden, after 2+ years, you are sitting at your computer faced with the TRUTH. All you have to do is open up the attached report and begin reading. In those few seconds of before-knowing, you go through many emotions. Excitement - the 2+ year search for the sisters is possibly, finally over? Fear - will Nicholas look like his birth parents? Tears start forming at that thought (everyone, as well as you, believes he looks just like you!). So many emotions experienced in just a few seconds. Tears begin to surface. You gather all your reserve and open the report!

After:
The facts of the report hit hard. The tears begin falling. Nicholas has 2 mothers, yes, 2 mothers. You are finally faced with that very real fact. She was/is his mother and she does still love him. His birth environment was and still is unhealthy for a child. Tears of thankfulness to the Russian government for removing the children from the home environment and thankfulness to the baby house that took care of him & nursed him back to health. Certainly an institution is not an ideal living situation for any child, but in some cases, a much better choice. You read it all over again, knowing it will be many days and weeks of re-reading before it will all finally become real.

In less than 4 weeks, all the unknown is known!

It takes huge growth for an adoptive parent to recognize the life before "Gotcha Day". You grieve that you are not your son's mother from birth, but those are the facts and you come to respect his birth family for giving him life. His birth mother holds his past during his 1st year of life. She has the physical memories of carrying him during pregnancy, his 1st smile, 1st tooth. You hold his future from 18 months old and beyond. You know his 1st words, 1st pony ride, 1st day of school. The truth is - BOTH mothers can share in the life of this precious child.

Your family is now completely tied to this other family. There is no turning back, no regrets. This birth family is now an extension of Your family. It is a miracle that the information came into your life so easily, as if meant to be. You take it as it comes, knowing God gives what He knows we can handle. The fact is, this is Nicholas’ story, not yours. Your part of his life began at adoption. This part of his story began at birth, with his birth family. These facts are his alone. You are only the caretaker of this information for him.

Everything, can and will be dealt with.

My "Krasiva Syn" (beautiful son) . . .

(Reprint of article for CHI monthly newsletter - Tuesday, April 12, 2005)

Forever Joined In Love

My heart was pounding with anticipation. The long-awaited door opened. There he was! I bent down, with my outstretched arms. His big, bright-blue eyes slowly, carefully looked up at me. I saw the weight and pain of abandonment on his beautiful, innocent, baby face. Our eyes met . . . our hearts connected . . . the wonderful bond of love began. After a moment of hesitation, he gingerly, stepped forward, on one-year-old-toddler’s unsteady legs, into my waiting arms. As I wrapped my arms of love around him and pulled him close, wonderful tears of joy worked their way past my composed smile. Life stood completely still and this special once-in-a-lifetime-moment was frozen in time. After placing a mother’s tender kiss on his forehead, I gently whispered in his ear, “I’m your Mamma. I love you.” The rest of the world ceased to exist and I was conscious of only one thought, “For two years I carried this child in my heart, and this moment of “birth” makes us a precious family.”

A family is created in many different ways, but however procreation happens, what a wonderful, spiritual experience. As with any birth, there truly are no words to explain the rush of love when a child is placed in your arms. Parenthood became a reality for me through the joy of international adoption and what an incredible journey it has been. The country Russia is the birthplace of my son, Artyom Victorovich and the United States is where my son, Nicholas Ivan will grow to adulthood. He is both Russian and American, citizens of both countries for life.

After making the decision to adopt and researching international adoption agencies for several months, my heart was drawn to the orphans of Russia, a country where unemployment is high, alcoholism is commonplace, and thousands of children are left abandoned and institutionalized in baby houses and children’s orphanages. I wanted to make a difference in a waiting child’s life. It was the beginning of a wonderful journey of Love. When I began compiling my adoption dossier, early 2003, it was an overwhelming task of preparing documents: INS fingerprints, background reviews and endless notarized signatures. But, the end was always kept in mind, and a year later my dossier was complete. Late December, 2003, my precious dossier was sent to the Russian Region of Kemerovo, located in Siberia. With a mother’s faithful prayer and kiss on the front of the sealed envelope, my priceless documents left my hands. The hard part, however, was yet to come, the Wait . . .

I received the “call” from CHI (Children's Hope International) in mid July, 2004. My child was living in a Baby Home in the city of Novokuznetsk in south Siberia. The Wait was finally over. My life immediately became a whirlwind of activity preparing for the trips to Russia. Mid August was my goal and the travel date marked on my calendar.

To adopt in Russia, two trips in-country are required. The first is to meet the child and sign the “Petition to Court”, which begins the legal adoption process in Russia. This first trip is a week of grueling travel, sleepless nights and jet lag; nine hours from New York to Moscow, another four hours from Moscow to Novokuznetsk. Along with the air travel, come time zone changes and cultural differences. This was my first international trip overseas combined with becoming a new parent. Stepping off the plane onto Russian soil was a surreal experience for this Nebraska farm-girl. Once the plane landed in Novokuznetsk, though physically tired, excitement grew during the short, but incredibly long drive to the baby house. Literally, all was forgotten when I met my child for the first time. The joy of that moment superceded the enormous effort of literally traveling around the world.

The signed “Petition to Court” is combined with the translated dossier of the adoptive parent(s) to complete the court’s file. After four to eight weeks required for processing the adoption, a Russian court hearing is scheduled. The second trip is usually a total of 2-3 weeks, 1-2 weeks for the court hearing in the Kemerovo region; and another week for finalizing documents through the American Embassy in Moscow. After the court hearing, once the adoption decree is signed, the child can officially leave the baby house with the adoptive parent(s). Up until that time, I could only visit him for a couple of hours each day.

It was a Friday morning, when I walked into the baby house to say good-bye to the loving caregivers that took care of my little boy for several months. It was a wonderful day to finally hold him forever, but it was also emotional and many tears were shed, both Russian and American. As difficult as saying good-bye was, Artyom, now also, Nicholas, was leaving for a secure, loving home, his forever family. The hearts of the caregivers were broken, but hopeful for all the children in Baby House #2. I have special memories of everyone, but I will never forget “Babushka” (grandmother). She met us that special day at the gate to let us into the baby house. Her bright smile and ready kiss welcomed us. As I walked out of Baby House #2, with my son, tears of joy and sadness rolled down our faces, as she hugged and kissed little Tyoma (baby home nickname) for the last time. We spent the next few days in Novokuznetsk and in Kemerovo finalizing documents needed for Moscow. We then flew back to Moscow for the final week to complete the American Embassy requirements and finalize exit documents for Nicholas to leave Russia.

After two life-changing, schedule-driven weeks, we were finally ready to leave Moscow to fly home. Leaving Russia was bittersweet. Excited as I was to have my son with me, I also knew I was taking him from his birth country, not knowing when he would return. Over the course of my two trips, I had grown to love this country that had so graciously given me my son. So, with mixed emotions, we strolled through the narrow streets of Moscow for the last time, memorizing the sights and sounds. As with any toddler, not conscious of the implications of the afternoon’s flight, Nicky stopped to play in the Russian dirt of a cathedral garden. So, symbolically, we scooped up the precious dirt to take home. The flight back to New York City was an unusual day of sunshine for us. As you travel back through time zones, the sun literally never sets. It was a sign of our future together, full of sunny days of love and laughter. We had a wonderful greeting party of family and friends awaiting us at the airport, anxious to meet little Nicholas for the first time. September 24, 2004, we were finally home.

These days, Russia seems far away as our busy, daily schedule has taken over. But, as I rock and tuck Nicholas into bed each night, my mind always revisits those two weeks, two months, and two years that began our special adoption journey. Life has wonderfully changed, for a little boy and a want-a-be mama. For both of us, our dreams came true in a country so far, far away. We will forever think of Russia with Love.

Both chosen from Heaven above . . . Our Hearts forever joined in Love!