Reminiscing . . . THE CALL

I have some good friends currently in Russia on their 1st trip meeting their 2.5 year-old daughter. (Thanks, Sherrie, for letting me live vicariously through you right now!!) I am so excited for them - on pins-n-needles waiting for news. Their situation is very similar to mine - they previously adopted a baby boy from Russia and now they are adopting a baby girl. Like me, they also have waited for over 2 years as well. I’ll admit, when I first read the email that they had received “the call”, I felt “why not me” (for 2 seconds . . . ok 3.). It is hard to read/hear of families traveling. But, the reality is, “It is their time, not mine.” I have grown to love the families that I share this incredibly, humbling journey of “wait” with . So, I try to objectively separate my own painful wait-feelings so I can respectfully share in the joy of their moment.

Having experienced the joy of International Adoption before, I can tell you, there is nothing like finally receiving “the call”! It is just amazing and such a surreal moment. Breaking the long wait with the call, is a foretaste to the once-in-a-lifetime moment when you will finally meet your child for the 1st time. Knowing it is finally REAL can literally take your breath away and make you weak in the knees. Most PAP's will remember the EXACT moment, where they were and who they were with, when the call finally comes.

So, during the painful “its not fair” part of this process . . . I decided to reminisce this afternoon . . . It helps me . . . I hope it helps you!

I remember it like yesterday . . . it was a Friday afternoon, mid July, and I was at work. During the summer, we have Friday afternoons off. So, not many were in the office. I was taking advantage of the quiet and peace of the uninterrupted afternoon. I was heads-down, totally focused, busy working on a project that had a looming deadline. I was deep in a difficult program’s procedure, trying to write and debug some complicated code.

At this point in time, my wait was over 7 months. I remember just a couple days before, on Wednesday, having a total melt-down over the “wait”. In 2004 a 7.5 month wait was a long wait, especially dossiers with no gender specification, like my dossier. I cried, knowing others with later dossiers were receiving their referrals before me (watching others go before me just seems to be part of my process, lol). After having a major crying spell, I once again poured myself into my work.

So, there I was, sitting at my desk . . . Friday, July 16, 2004, 2:00 p.m. . . . when the phone rang. I was just going to let it roll to my voice mail since I was totally deep in my program's code and didn’t want to be distracted. Nonchalantly, I looked up on the 3rd ring. I immediately snapped out of my work stupor as I noticed the caller ID was my agency’s phone number. Now, my agency had called me many times before, but somehow I knew this call was different. There were no outstanding documents to send, no outstanding issues to discuss. Somehow, I just KNEW this was IT. In a split second, a wave of adrenalin shot through me, starting at my toes and finally hitting the ends of my fingertips. My fingers were fumbling with the phone and I almost dropped the receiver while trying to keep it from rolling over to voice mail. I heard the precious words I had waited so long to hear. My case worker’s cheerful voice said, “Nancy, are you ready to go to Russia?” I remember the choking sob of joy in my throat, the elated feeling, the relief! I remember, LOL, trying to find my “green notebook” that I kept notes in for the adoption. It was my bible for recording anything and everything that I needed to do adoption-wise. Once again, I fumbled, trying to find the notebook, as well as, listen to my case worker at the same time. Only a few seconds had gone by, but it felt like time moved into slow motion and, to this day, I remember EVERY split second of answering that phone call.

I remember the questions I asked:
“What is the baby’s age?” – “No information”
“What is the baby’s gender?” - “No information”
“Are there medicals?” – “No medicals”
“Do you have ANY information on the baby?” - “Sorry, No information”
A total BLIND referral – Naively, I didn’t care, I was FINALLY going to see my child!

After talking about the timeline of the travel dates and travel instructions, I was in a dream state. The call lasted exactly 15 minutes. I know because I looked at the clock when I hung up, wanting to record the exact time. I sat in my chair with tears of relief rolling down my face. After a couple of minutes, the relief subsided and the incredible joy took over. I finally found my legs and I started dancing around my office, shouting for joy. Remember, I thought I was all by myself that afternoon - however, LOL, I wasn’t. One of my co-workers, close-by was there that Friday afternoon too. When she heard me, she poked her head into my office and saw me dancing and jumping around! When I saw her, I stopped, but then I just didn’t care who saw me. I grabbed her, hugged her and squealed “I got the call, I got THE CALL!” We held hands, jumping up/down. Thank you, Leann, for sharing in my special moment of joy!

I will never, ever forget that moment of “the call” – just one of the many “frozen-in-time” moments of becoming a parent to Artyom Victorovich/Nicholas Ivan, my beautiful, darling son.

I relive that precious moment now – Knowing it WILL come again, a 2nd time, for my precious daughter. For some reason, I am destined to endure long waits for my children. The reason why is still obscure and hidden from me. One day, I believe God will open my eyes/heart with the knowledge of that reason. In the meantime, "the call" will come in its own way, its own time – God’s perfect timing. So, I step back and reminisce, shed a few tears, take a deep breath, busy myself with living and . . .

. . . graciously endure these painful "its not fair" days, weeks, months, yes, even years.

. . . patiently wait for my precious daughter .

. . . joyfully watch other families travel .

And, when THE CALL does fianlly come, I'll be shouting for joy, doing the happy dance! Nicky and I have been practicing all afternoon!