Year End 2013 ... Where are We Now?

Time to relax and exhale after a very busy Christmas with 2 precious children! As I sit with my coffee (ahhh, caffeine!) and start writing, I take a moment to reflect back on the year ... 2013 has truly been the busiest year (aka the most stressful year) I can remember (Yes, even more stressful than living in Pakistan)! I mentally list all that has been accomplished … and, I’m amazed at how it has all gotten DONE! I chuckle to myself because after each year, I think that the “next” year will be less hectic, but with 2 children (1 now a “tween” & 1 now a “preschooler”) the “busy” just moves J! ...  I just take a deep breath, exhale and consider it ALL Joy! J

So, what has gotten done? Very exciting news! ... But we will get to that later ... Right now, the “precious-ness” of my children! 

Nicholas Ivan – turned 11 years old in December, entrenched now as a “tween”! and in the 5^th grade. He is just such a conversationalist and negotiator these days, knowing “something” about “everything”. I chuckle as I watch him ... “working out a deal” with Mama. He is still very active in sports; Baseball, Soccer, Basketball, Football. Baseball (Mar, Apr, May) and Football (Aug, Sep, Oct) rank up there as the favs these days. Using his soccer skills, he was field goal kicker for his football team ... and loved it! He still absolutely loves baseball, especially pitcher (his fav). He is talking about swimming as his next sport (can’t let his little sister swim past him!) or maybe karate or even cricket (from the Meghji family in Pakistan)! Who knows what is next? He is just an all-around sports nut! 

Mama however, keeps him grounded in other things too ... he also has a gift of music and art, and excels in so many other areas. He is in his 4^th year of piano and I just love to hear him play. His formal musical recital was in December and he played“Minuet in G” by Bach ... absolutely beautiful! He has also played in Chapel for school ... with his “buddies” tackling him afterwards (I think in “tween” language that means they were proud of him? J) He truly loves to just pluck out a tune, playing by ear ... such a wonderful gift. And, he also loves to draw ... many versions of cars, trucks, planes are displayed on the refrigerator! He has made “artist of the week” at school and I love to see his artwork come home. I’m building his “collection” to be framed and hung (a bigger house is needed!) Nick also participates in Webelos (Cub Scouts) and raced his pinewood derby car to several wins in January. Camping (Sept-Oct) has become a scouting activity, with Mama as his camping buddy in October. I was in Pakistan when he had his “Mommy and Me” campout (2011 Uppa D, cousin Dalend Baney, was Mommy’s substitute) so we made up for it this year. The weather was perfect, the scenic woods were picturesque, the stars were magnificent, the tent was comfortable with a warm fire outside ... and it didn’t rain (very important for Mama’s camping enjoyment!) I just have so much fun with my Nicholas ... He is just pure JOY and the Love of my Life! J

Marina Grace - Our "Gracy Girl" is now 4.5 years old, turning 4 in June. She is the “whirlwind” in our family (Mama has to stay about 2 steps ahead of her at all times!) She is so active she becomes a “blur” at times. She moves in a constant “skip” (she loves, loves, loves to skip). Our regular caution to Gracy is “Slow down, you’re moving too fast!” During January-May, Gymnastics, Swimming and Soccer were Gracy activities ... and she loved it all! During soccer games, she would hold hands with another little girl and skip up and down the field ... Too Cute! J During the summer she learned to ride her big-girl bike (with training wheels) and she “decided” she no longer needs to wear a life-jacket swimming (Mama, however,  is the final decider!). She has amazed us all with her swimming ability ... at 4 years old, she swims down to the bottom of the pool, turns summer saults and back flips under water (without holding her nose!) and her cannon ball is outstanding (not much splash for such a little girl, but her form is perfect!). She started full-time pre-school in August and loves every minute of it. She can count up to 20, sing her ABC song and write her name ... she is so proud! (Mama too). I again love the toddler run to Mama at pick-up time, the breath-taking hug, all smiles and sticky kisses! She loves to read books and our bedtime routine is very important to her with “read another book, Mama?” She is a petite, not a very big-around little girl, but all arms and legs! She has always had “no fear”, giving it her all, 100% ... trying everything and anything before she even thinks! (Mama’s prayer is “Lord, protect her & slow her down!”). Dancing and singing are also favorites and she started ballet and tap in September. She loves to put on a “show” for us and loves to dance as her big brother plays the piano (truly, it is the most entertaining show in town! J). She is still a very “girly-girl” loving dress-up, make-up (caught applying Mama’s make-up so many times!) and she loves to play with hair (she finally succeeded in cutting her hair, but Mama was able to “trim”). With her big, bright, beautiful brown eyes that just twinkle when she smiles and laughs ... long beautiful brown hair that just shines ... Gracy is just beautiful, adorable and precious! J

On her medical front, we do have a diagnosis for Gracy’s neurological condition, Ventriculomegaly. No one knows when or how, but a blockage was formed in the Cerebral Spinal System inside Gracy’s brain and created a pooling of the cerebral spinal fluid, expanding the CSF ventricles to accommodate the extra fluid. Although enlarged brain ventricles is a major symptom of Hydrocephalus (Pakistan diagnosis), Gracy does not exhibit any other symptoms of Hydrocephalus ... so a reduced diagnosis. She is expected to eventually grow into her 90+% sized head! J Gracy’s severe tongue tie is actually the more significant medical issue for her at this time. Her tongue was released (July 2011 in Pakistan) and her language acquisition/English comprehension is now 100% for a 4 year old, but she struggles with speech articulation (Mama translates!). So, Gracy is in speech therapy, working on speech articulation. She loves speech therapy (fun, fun, fun!) She has exceeded and gained in all areas. When I took custody of Gracy in January 2011, her height was < 2% on the growth chart and her weight was not even on the growth chart. After 17 months in Pakistan, major supplements, massive doses of vitamins and iron, she arrived in the US, 2012 at a whopping 25% for height and 15% for weight.  Now ... 1.5 years later, she has gained 6 pounds and grown 6 inches, she is now 50% height and weight, YEAH! She is and always has been just perfect! My baby girl is growing up so very fast ... She is just pure JOY and the Love of my Life! J

Katy Sue – On a very, very sad note ... we lost our doggie in April (April 13, 2001-April 5, 2013). After losing the battle with a tumor, Katy passed away in her sleep, on a warm spring night, she was 12 years old ... It is still very hard to comprehend the loss of Katy. She was my doggie, my 1^st born, my sweet Katy dog.  I grieve every day and I miss her so much . . .

Mama/Mommy/Mom – I’ll just copy from last year’s letter ... “The best word to describe my life these days ... Busy with a capital “B”! Busy with the children and Busy managing LIFE!” ... I’m trying to “reinvent” myself these days ... into what I’m not exactly sure ... but I’ll get there! J  As I said last year, “Life is about change and I simply embrace it with Joy.”

OK, so now for the exciting news about Gracy’s legal case! On September 27, 2013 a US adoption decree was granted and signed ... Marina Grace Baney became officially and legally my daughter and I became officially and legally her mother! J Such a surreal and amazing moment in time, after 4.5 years of obstacles! Yes, it has been an overwhelming, extremely busy and exhausting year with 3 different legal processes for Gracy’s case. First, in February, beginning a new US domestic Home Study, finally completed in June (US adoption requirement). Second, the US Petition for Adoption, completed in August, many document revisions later, we were surprised by the Oklahoma family courts with an expedited court hearing date in September! Third, Gracy’s US immigration dossier for US permanent residency and US citizenship (US adoption decree & certificate of foreign birth a requirement). This “last” completed dossier was sent to our immigration attorney early December. We are hoping to file with USCIS for residency and citizenship right after the 1^st of 2014! Then, a 3-6 month wait for the ruling. Gracy’s Humanitarian Parole expires late May, 2014 so timing will be very close. Many have asked ... (1) “Is this it?” and (2) “Can she still be deported?” Those answers are (1) Yes, this is it! The final step is her permanent residency and US citizenship. We are hoping for a favorable ruling, but also know it may take several attempts, due to the case’s history. (2) Yes, she can still be deported under certain circumstances, but probably unlikely that will happen (but, nothing surprises me anymore!). And, we will take it as it comes, as a FAMILY! I ask you to please keep us in your prayers as we cross the finish line with Gracy’s case. Please pray for softened hearts ... for a little girl’s best interests.

So, that has been Mama’s year, paperwork, documents and dossers ... #1, #2 and #3! And, of course, the joy of parenting Nicky and Gracy! ... Believe me, there were many, many plates spinning in the air, each one a very “full” plate! The family blog (nrbfamily.blogspot.com) is so out-of-date!, but if you would like to read our adoption stories, the blog still has the many details of 2007-2012. And, I have pictures and a few updates from 2012 to current date on Facebook (ID nbaney). As for, “The Book” ... well, we will see about that ... maybe 2014 will give me time to turn my attention to consider another major project?  J

Other events of the year – In February, G’ma came to visit and broke her leg! G’ma stayed in Tulsa for surgery and rehab for 3+ months. An unfortunate accident, but we thoroughly enjoyed G’ma every day during her extended stay, until late May when she was finally able to travel home to Nebraska. April was Gracy’s Pakistani “Gotcha Day”. In June, Gracy’s 4^th b-day with a long weekend and baseball tournament in Branson, MO /Silver Dollar City and FUN! In July, a 10-day vacation in Austin, TX with the Shorman’s (Mama’s sister) and so many fun activities (complete with iFLY, indoor sky diving for Nick!). August, start of 5^th grade for Nicky and pre-school for Gracy. September, is now “Gotcha Day” for BOTH children, we celebrated with another fun trip to Branson/Silver Dollar City in MO! “Gotcha Day” wouldn’t be complete without our traditional “balloon release” in honor of global orphans ... we somehow worked it all in! October, a much-needed, relaxing 2 week vacation for Mama in Dubai, UAE with Karim Meghji (owner of the amazing Pakistani guest house we stayed 2011-2012). He is wonderful “Papa” and we video chat every day!  November, a wonderful Thanksgiving trip to G’ma/G’pa’s farm (complete with horseback riding!). December, Nick’s b-day (wild sleepover!) and finally ending the year with an amazing Christmas and an ice storm that gave everything a sparkle and a magical touch!

Whew, 2013 is now over! As I look around me, I STILL see toys on the floor, dishes in the sink, laundry piled high . . . but, LIFE has finally normalized ... I think? We are healthy and happy, safe and warm , together as a family looking forward to a new year, 2014! And, above all else, we treasure ALL our wonderful Blessings ... health, accomplishment, growth, purpose, fellowship, faith, childhood, family, laughter and love. And, yes, moments of sadness, challenges, disappointment and pain, but opportunities for blessings as well.

Our Heavenly Father gives us a strong, steady spirit to move forward through it all.

“Count it ALL Joy . . . “ (James 1)

With love to all our family & friends,

Nancy, Nicky & Gracy Baney (& Uppa D)

 

   

Happy Holidays! ...

2012 Year End

Hello, Dear Family & Friends . . .

As I sit and relax with my tea, I take a moment to reflect back on the year . . . 2012 has certainly been divided between major highs and major lows. And, Yes, even though it has been a very difficult year . . . it has been like “No Other” Year!

At the top of the year's memory list was our miracle Homecoming for Gracy the end of May from Pakistan! Stepping off the final flight onto Oklahoma soil was such an emotional moment, Mama was so very thankful and Gracy was, well as a very tired toddler should be . . . peacefully asleep. And, as we walked through security to the waiting crowd of family and friends . . . Mama was speechless as happy tears fell. What a wonderful sight! After 1.5 years of separation, it felt so good to finally hold BOTH my children in my arms . . . at LAST!

Marina Grace - Our "Gracy Girl" is now 3.5 years old! She turned 3 in June and her birthday was celebrated at Silver Dollar City in Branson, Missouri. In July, a big “Birthday/Homecoming” celebration was held to welcome Gracy home to the US. Most of the summer was spent compiling new medical evaluations to determine her medical needs. Medically she is doing very well and all medical evals have resulted with a “Hmmm, yes, there is something there . . . but she’s developing like there is nothing there . . . let’s move forward with a “watch & wait” medical plan . . . no surgeries needed, at this point!” Gracy’s speech pathologist is amazed at how she accommodates for her tongue tie. Over a short few months, she has grown so much and her English has really blossomed (Mama just has to translate sometimes). She continues to meet or exceed all major, age-appropriate milestones! Outside of several fevers/colds (new American germs), her adjustment to the US has been without any complications. She is just perfect! J

Gracy is “action waiting to happen” from the moment she wakes up . . . until her little head hits the pillow at night. She is just ADORABLE . . . and a HANDFULL! She has no fear, which resulted in a broken arm in July! You can’t turn your back for a second when she is around water, animals or in a store (recent missing child “Amber Alert” in Kohls). Yet . . . she is such a “girly girl”. Her FAVORITE thing right now is Mama’s “lip-lip” (yes, my lipstick & each lipstick has a G mark!) and “dress-up” (including hat, purse & shoes!) One night recently, I woke up in the middle of the night and found Gracy “dressing-up” with all the clothes from her closet on the floor!  I always call her my Sweet Pea, but now I also lovingly call her my “Sweet Mess”! J She LOVES to sing/dance . . . I just smile as she serenades me from her car seat during our daily errands, always reminding me of my adorable blessing.  And, a night-night doesn’t go by without singing her favorite song . . . “You Are My Sunshine.” She dances to any kind of music and I love to watch her as she twirls and pirouettes and “shakes it all about”. She is so much fun!

Nicholas Ivan – Now in double digits . . . Nicky was a big 10 years old in December! He is definitely Mama’s “big boy” now. While I was in Pakistan, he grew and changed so much. Once I returned . . . Oh, My . . . Where did my little boy go? . . . a very bittersweet adjustment for Mama. Over the last 6 months, we have slowly worked our way back to each other.

Nick (no longer, really wanting to be called Nick-y, although Mama slips many times J) is in the 4^th grade and doing just great in school. His love of sports continues, and our “All Star” added a new sport, Football, to his increasing busy schedule. Soccer, Baseball, Basketball, Football, he doesn’t miss a season without playing some kind of sport and here at year-end he is playing 2 sports, Basketball/Soccer (2 sports in a season is something Mama said she would never do . . . but soccer is a weekend, indoor conditioning game with thankfully NO practices). It seems Baseball is still the fav, but any sport will do (even a cricket bat/ball from Pakistan!) Nick is a very artistic/creative boy as well. He loves his music and is playing the piano for the 3^rd year. His December recital was beautiful and his musical accomplishments were recognized with 2, 2^nd place awards. He is also playing the recorder in school music and he marches around the house to the tune of “Hot Cross Buns”! He really enjoys music of any kind, any instrument and he loves to “pluck” out a tune by ear. Christmas brought him musical electronics, key board and drum set . . . now, he is our “Rock Star”! His creative side also includes a love of art and his art teacher recently told me, “Nick just intuitively gets it”. Since Mama can’t draw a straight line, I wasn’t exactly sure what that meant, until a recent project, “The Nativity, This Great Day” . . . amazing and beautiful!

The very 1^st moment I saw my children, my heart instantly loved them as my “son & daughter”, but becoming “brother & sister” has had its unique challenges. We work at it every day, slowly . . . and, after 6 months, I can see progress and I’m proud of how far we have come as a family . . . some days it is 2 steps forward and 1 step backward . . . but still moving forward! Gracy adores her big brother and Nick is starting to think that having a little sister isn’t so bad . . . after all! We were shopping one evening recently and Nick protectively held Gracy’s hand as they crossed the busy traffic. I watched from behind and smiled. As joy filled my heart, I thought, “Could this be the beginning of love? Or, maybe perhaps, just deep like!” J I’m so very proud of my children . . . They are both pure JOY and the LOVES of my Life!

Katy Sue – Our sweet Katy dog is now 11.5+ years old (12 next April)! She is really starting to slow down, but given enough attempts, she can still jump up into the back of the SUV (however, she usually plants her front paws on the bumper & then looks at Mama to help her the rest of the way!) She LOVES when N/G play with her (as long as she can recline). The favorite is to play “doctor” (since Gracy’s broken arm, both kids love to use the splint wraps on Katy). Katy walks around with her legs wrapped daily and never seems to mind. She is the perfect doggie for Gracy . . . when Katy has had enough of Gracy, Katy just simply gets up and finds a quiet place to hide from Gracy! She’ll still do anything for an ear rub. And, yes . . . Katy and Mama STILL fight over Mama’s chair!

Mama/Mommy/Mom – I will answer to “any of the above”! J The best word to describe my life these days . . . Busy with a capital “B”! Busy with the children and Busy managing LIFE! Yes, there are a few “fair, to partly cloudy” days and “how did I get here?” days, but overall, I’m doing well. I do have to admit, the adjustments to life these days have been challenging and I’m in such a very different place today than a couple of years ago or even just 1 year ago! But life is about change and I simply embrace it with Joy.

I’m still very busy with legal issues for Gracy’s adoption case. Gracy is here in the US on a Humanitarian Parole, a temporary approval to reside in the US for 2 years. During that time, many steps of US approval are required for Gracy to live in the US permanently as my daughter (I currently have permanent legal guardianship). As of now, we are only about 50% complete and I’m currently working on the US adoption (hopefully an adoption hearing in March). Nothing in Gracy’s case has been easy and the US adoption is no exception . . . but I’m an “old hand” at working through the complex/challenging details and consider it “all Joy” (nothing surprises me anymore!).  Once we have a legal parent/child relationship through a US adoption decree, Gracy can move forward through the permanent US immigration process and then US citizenship. I ask you to please keep us in your prayers as we continue forward with Gracy’s case. Please pray for softened hearts . . . for a little girl’s best interests.

I haven’t been able to carve out much time to write in the last year (except for legal documents! J) . . . and the out-of-date blog and facebook show it! J But, I do plan on updating as soon as I can. So if you would like to follow along . . . nrbfamily.blogspot.com (The blog is public, once again). My Facebook, account ID – nbaney.

Other events of the year – In January, after a 5 week visit home to the US (seems like a lifetime ago), Mama’s return trip to Pakistan to again take up the USCIS fight for Gracy to live in the US. In February, a trip to Murree, Pakistan (Himalayan mountains) for Gracy’s 1^st snow. In April, Gracy’s Humanitarian Parole approval. In May, Shorman family visit to Islamabad, Pakistan - Aunt MJ/”ChaChi” and Joel (sister Mary Jane Shorman & nephew Joel Shorman). In July, a family vacation to Austin, Texas over July 4^th. In September, our 8^th Familiversary (changed from “Gotcha Day” since September is now the significant month both the children and I became “family”; N 2004 & MG 2009). And, as always, it was a beautiful autumn day at the park with balloons going up, up, up - our traditional balloon release in honor of orphans. In November, Thanksgiving on the Baney farm in Nebraska with G’ma/G’pa. The highlight of the trip was introducing Gracy to family and riding horses, complete with cowboy hats! Over the year, so many “firsts” for Gracy and it has been so fun watching her embrace her new US life.

When I was working as a project manager, after project completion the project team would document “Lessons Learned” to help gain wisdom for future projects. Home now for 6 months I’ve been able to reflect . . . What are my “Lessons Learned” over the last year? I can truly say that so many areas of my life have been touched . . . I’m richer, I’m poorer. I’ve won, I’ve lost. I’m a stronger person and yet, weaker as well. I’ve learned that “No” doesn’t have to mean “The End”. I’ve learned there are deeper reserves to Perseverance, Patience, Peace. I’ve learned that “calm” can come with just 1 word, my word is . . . “Grace”.  I’ve learned there are no perfect people, only a perfect God that uses people perfectly for His perfect plan.

And, as we come to the end of 2012 . . . I’m so very, very thankful for those that stand alongside my beautiful and amazing family. Family - The “constant” Uppa D (cousin Dalend Baney), who is co-parent; my family, whose encouragement and support has resulted in renewed relationships. New Friends - My life has been enriched beyond words with the people I have met and become close to over the last year, here in the US, in Pakistan and all around the world. Old friends - It has been wonderful to reconnect with everyone. If I haven’t said hello to you, please send me an email, novokbb2@yahoo.com.

As I look around me, I see toys on the floor, dishes in the sink, laundry piled high . . . but, my son is happily reading in his room and my little daughter is napping with “no cares in the world”. We are safe and warm . . . together as a family. And, above all else, we treasure ALL our wonderful Blessings . . . health, accomplishment, growth, purpose, fellowship, faith, childhood, family, laughter and love. And, yes, moments of sadness, challenges, disappointment and pain, but opportunities for blessings as well.

Our Heavenly Father gives us a strong, steady spirit to move forward through it all.

“Count it ALL Joy . . . “ (James 1).

With love to all our family & friends,

Nancy, Nicky & Gracy Baney (& Uppa D)

   

Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

Hello - - from Islamabad, Pakistan - COMING HOME!

COMING HOME from Pakistan! :) . . . a total of 495 days, 70+ weeks, 16+ months!

Yes, we are coming home . . . Marina Grace has been granted a 2 year Humanitarian Parole by USCIS! Simply put . . . our MIRACLE!

Due to all the complex legal issues, it has been a while since our last update . . . so, below is an update on the "rest" of our story here in Pakistan . . . 

September - We filed an official I-290B Appeal for the I-600 Orphan Status Denial. An applicant has only 30 days from the date of denial to file the appeal, but can ask for an additional 30 days to follow up with an additional legal brief & evidence dossier, which we have done. I have also retained new legal counsel, Poarch Law, an immigration law firm in the Washington, D.C. area. Christine Poarch has taken on our case & we are hopeful that the new legal brief & evidence dossier can be pulled together quickly, since we have only 30 days to complete it (mid Oct). We have also contacted the adoption advocacy organization EACH (Equity for Adopted Children) to help with our plight with USCIS. We are hopeful that McLane Layton (founder of EACH) will be able to advocate Gracy's case personally with USCIS.

October - After a frantic month of working with new immigration/intercountry adoption attorneys, the I-290B Appeal Legal Brief & New Evidence Dossier is complete! It was a whirlwind month of late nights in Paksitan, connecting with attorneys via skype, pulling together all the details necessary for a new evidence dossier. This new Legal Brief/Evidence Dossier is MASSIVE (~ 150 pages long)! No, it is not "light reading!" lol! Christine/McLane have done a very thorough job in pulling the details together. All we can do now is WAIT! It will need to go through a 1st review with the local USCIS office of jurisdiction (New Delhi, India), we are hoping the appeal review will be completed by Christmas/year-end. It would be wonderful if we could be HOME for Christmas, but I'm not holding my breath . . . !

In the meantime, we have also made the decision to go ahead & move forward with an application for Humanitarian Parole for medical care. Hopefully this can be filed within 4-6 weeks. This is very much a "long shot" - the normal process for an HP is to exhaust ALL other options 1st .. . . before filing an application for HP. Since we technically have a "pending" immigrant visa thru our appeal, this is a long shot & I'm told will probably be considered by USCIS to have the motive of "circumventing US law" or entering the US & then MG simply staying! However, if we wait & file the HP after the appeal's decision, it could be 2 years from now . . . Gracy simply doesn't have that kind of time, considering her health issues. So, we are going to go ahead & file the HP application now & then . . . pray, pray, pray that God's hand will lead the way!

It is also time for "another" visa extension for Mama (#6) - application was made for a 6 month visa. it will be 4 weeks before we know if it will be granted. I'm hoping for at least 3 months, which would take me to the end of the year . . . could we be home by then????

November - Still working on the HP application dossier. Medical expert opinions are slow to come in & the holidays are fast approaching. No chance for a year-end return home :(. We are hoping for a mid Dec HP file date - Pray we can get everything pulled together before the Christmas/New Year holidays! 

Gracy & Mama did have a very nice Thanksgiving in Islamabad. We had Thanksgiving dinner at the Serena Hotel (only place we could find that served turkey!) . . . Gracy's 1st taste of turkey! She loved it!

Mama is getting very "blue" thinking of the up-coming holidays without my Nicky-boy! I'll miss his 9th birthday along with Christmas with my little guy . . . the tears fall easily when I think about it. :(

December - Surprise, surprise . . . Papa Karim & Shelina made a MIRACLE happen . . . with some strategically placed influence, the Pakistani Ministry of Interior granted me a visa extension with a "1x re-entry" to Pakistan from the US. What this means . . . I can leave & re-enter Pakistan under my current visa . . . aka . . . I can come home for Nicky's birthday & Christmas & New Year's!!! YEAH! I'm thrilled . . . but on the other hand very sad, I will have to leave Gracy here in Pakistan. She will be under the care of a live-in nanny that Papa Karim & I have searched high-n-low for. It has been a very quick process to find someone, but I also know that Papa Karim will have a watchful eye on our Gracy Girl!!! We will skype everyday . . . from the flip side (can my life get any more complicated???)

I didn't tell Nicky or my family I was coming home for Christmas . . . didn't want to get hopes up should it not work out, but it did! I surprised my sister in Austin. Yep, just showed up at her door step on 12/7/11! She was speechless & I almost had to pick her up off the floor! It was GREAT!!! I spent a day with sis & then flew into Tulsa to surprise Nicky!!! When Dalend opened the door . . . just a speechless stare for several seconds, then Nicky popped his head around & I heard "Mama, you're home!" Yes, tears! I just want to say "Thank You" to Laura (Austin) & Jan (Tulsa) for meeting me at the airport & more importantly, keeping my special Christmas "secret"!

The 5 weeks home were a whirlwind . . . so much to do, so little time! Loving on my Nicky, Piano recital, Christmas programs, birthday, Christmas, basketball, baseball, football, friends to "catch up" with, places to go & people to see (3 different legislative offices to share Gracy's story & try to gain momentum fpr the HP). 

We were able to complete the HP dossier & submit the application by mid Dec, right before Christmas . . . Now, the wait . . . !

The days fly by & before I know it, it's time to travel back to Pakistan on my miraculous visa re-entry!

January 2012 - Back in Pakistan & loving on my Gracy Girl! She is now sporting a very interesting "bangs" haircut! Somehow that happened while Mama was gone . . . hair grows! :) Skype worked very well, everyday & Gracy was running to Mama with open arms! I'm missing my boy, though . . . but maybe the HP has a chance, maybe soon we will be making plans to fly home to the US, maybe soon . . . ?

mid Jan - our HP application has been rejected & kicked back due to an "administrative" error. The I-131 form has been revised & corrected, resubmitted late Jan.

It is cooolllddd in Islamabad. The only heat we have is from a small floor heater & it just isn't very safe around a 2 year old . . . so I decided to not use it. Mama has brought back a whopper of a cold from the US. It has spread like wild fire through the g.house. Gracy, Papa & staff . . . Uggghhh! we are all cranky!

We are living through the "wait" on both the Appeal & HP. After 90 days from our Appeal legal brief + evidence filing (it has actually been 120 days since the I-290B appeal filing, but what's another month after this long?), we have not heard a "peep" from New Delhi on the Appeal review. We are beginning to seriously question the "why" of New Delhi USCIS . . . yes serious issues with that USCIS office! Hopefully . . . soon!

February - HP application has been rejected AGAIN & we now have to submit new financials (I-134). Please pray - this could be problematic since I am currently unemployed. Through the I-131 supplemental financial application that needs to accompany the I-131 HP application, I have to show adequate financial sponsorship . . . I know there is a way through this, God does have a plan! As of mid Feb, we finally do have an HP application that "sticks" & moves forward to adjudication . . . deep breath & prayers!

Valentine's day is spent with balloons & sweet Gracy loving on her new "pink be-be" (pink teddy bear Mama, Uppa D & Nicky gave her). She loved the bear, valentine cake & candies Papa gave her/us. The adults had a wonderful time & "evening out" at a new restaurant, Des-Per-Des (Live band sang the "Titanic" theme song for me, only song they knew in English, lol!). I watched Nicky & Uppa D open their "Valentines" from Mama via skype. 

It is COLD!, but we are making the best of it . . . without heat! Warm blankets & layers! We took a day trip to Murree (Himalayan mountains), a quaint mountain village so Gracy could see the SNOW (her 1st snow!). She loved it, but only wanted to "eat" it! We had a great time, except . . . found out the hard way . . . Gracy gets motion/car sick! A side-of-the-highway "clean up" of little Gracy was required not only once, but twice! 

Nicky/Uppa D are in the throws of school, cub scouts & ALL the sports - basketball, pre-season baseball & soccer will start soon! I watch Nicky's games via skype, usually very early in the morning Pakistan time (evening US time).

The "girls" are in Pakistan, the "boys" are in the US - I cannot thank Uppa D enough for ALL that he is doing to keep us "normalized". Without his committed efforts, I simply could not stay here with Gracy. Without Mama . . . Gracy would have to be placed back in orphanage/institutional care until we "can find a way". Leaving her with orphanage caregivers just isn't the "right, best" option. Thank you, Uppa D!

Time for a new PakIstani visa extension for Mama (# 7). When Shelina/Mama make application in person with MOI, I'm told this is my last visa extension . . . based on a new Pakistani visa policy . . . I'm a bit nervous & begin to make tentative plans for a new country "move" with Gracy. I can take Gracy to any other country . . . just not the US! Just which one should we move to . . . is the question?

March - Finally, S.Inhofe's office makes the "call" to New Delhi about our Appeal, it has now been 6 months . . . plenty of time for review. Interestingly enough, immediately after the senator's office makes this call, we receive a denial for the appeal from the New Delhi office. Yes, the very next day . . . question - did ND even review at all? Or, just "stamp" the easy "denial" to satisfy legislative inquiry? We will never know! Anyway, the Appeal has now moved on to the 5th & final review, the AAO (Administrative Appeal's Office) in W,D.C.  This is the dreaded 12+ month wait we were hoping we could avoid, but alas . . . I am very blue. My spirit is waning . . . my strength ebbing . . . I just don't understand the "why"?, but I just have to trust. According to 6 competent, immigration attorneys, MG's case facts absolutely comply with immigration law & intercountry orphan status guidelines; she is definitely an "orphan" & should be granted USCIS "orphan status" classification. BUT, our USCIS officials can't seem to put the "facts" together in the accurate, logical timeline sequence & therefore, she has been denied orphan status classification for an immigrant visa for the 4th time! I know God is bigger than ALL of this!

However, a "Yeah!" on the HP side. We have notice on the HP! I can't believe the quick response time on this! USCIS has responded with a request of 8 additional supplemental items/documents. Some of these are "easy" & some are more "difficult". We are "digging in" & diligently trying to complete these as quickly as we can. We do see this as a "good sign", USCIS is reviewing our application &, Oh, do I dare dream & say it out loud? . . . could USCIS be "considering" our HP case? We can't get this supplemental  "to do" list completed fast enough, but it has to be thorough . . . the HP decision relies on these supplemental documents . . . special needs Home Study Addendum, Medical Treatment Plan, Immigration Plan & more, etc., etc . . . The next 3-4 weeks are a whirlwind getting everything pulled together. Mama taking additional online classes for an updated Home Study, connecting with Tulsa pediatricians for treatment plans, gathering more documents . . . But, inside I'm starting to believe the HP just might be the possible route home . . . :)

April - 4/12/12 the HP supplemental dossier is rec'd by USCIS! I found out the HP review needs to go through 2 different units, the adoption unit & then humanitarian unit. If the adoption unit gives a favorable recommendation, the HP will move on to the humanitarian unit. Maybe a decision within a 2-4 week time frame (could it really be that quick? I'm not getting my hopes up! lol!). Hoping for the best . . . Preparing for the worst! In the meantime, we need to understand if there is anything else we can do during the 12-24 month "wait" for the AAO appeal decision. So, I "dig in", once again, scouring the internet, searching for any kind of case similar to ours that has had a favorable outcome. And, I have found a precedent setting case in India where a US petition for adoption was granted via a teleconferenced US court hearing. This could be our answer . . . we could possibly come through an I-130 "immediate relative" immigrant visa provision instead of the I-600/IR-4 adoption immigrant visa provision. However, since Pakistan does not have a provision for "adoption", we cannot get an in-country, Pakistani adoption decree, but maybe we can get a US adoption decree through an adoption hearing via teleconference? With an adoption decree, I can prove parent/child relationship . . . the I-130 immediate relative immigration provision just might be a possibility. Mama is making contact with the adoptive family in hopes the adoption attorney for the India case will visit & give advice for MG's case. Fingers crossed that this might become a viable option!

We celebrated Marina Grace's "Gotcha Day" on 4/15/12. I actually took physical custody of MG back in January 2011, so the 1 year anniversary was during the time when everyone had such terrible colds! But, we do have several "dates" to choose from for this special day . . . so I have chosen 4/15, the date we received the Certificate of Guardianship & the Pakistani side was finally completed. We had a small gathering here at the guest house & Gracy was all "pretty in pink"! A lovely pink dress that had lots of lace & tulle. She twirled & twirled in her pretty party ddress, until she couldn't twirl anymore!!! We skyped Uppa D/Nicky in so they could enjoy the festivities, too! It was a great day! I simply cannot believe it has been a year . . . but then I look at Gracy & see how much she has grown . . . yes, it has been an amazing year with my beautiful daughter!!!

On 4/19/12 we rec'd an amazing phone call - The USCIS Adoption Unit has recommended a favorable decision & approval for the HP!!! It will now move on to the USCIS Humanitarian Unit . . . I'm on pins-n-needles thinking that THIS may be IT! Maybe, just maybe, the momentum has turned in our favor . . . maybe all the advocacy phone calls from EACH, Both Ends Burning & legislative offices has finally made a "dent" . . . maybe USCIS is finally "hearing" our plea for Gracy's case! It came so very fast & I'm told the humanitarian unit will make a decision within the next 5-10 days . . . so hopefully we will know in a week!

4/26/12 - The USCIS Humanitarian Unit has also approved the HP . . . I am stunned, please pick me up off the floor, yet so very, very thankful!!! We are FINALLY going HOME!!!! 

May - What an incredible month! My sister, Mary Jane & nephew, Joel, had planned a visit in May to Pakistan . . . now they will be here for the final days of our stay, as well. My sister MJ was able to go with me to the USE on 5/7/12 to pick up the HP travel document. It was an experience . . . Gracy is the 1st Humanitarian Parole from Pakistan to the US . . . the USE/Islmbd didn't quite know what to do or how to process an HP. After several phone calls & a 4 hour wait at the USE, we finally walked out of the USE for the last time with a travel document for Gracy to enter the US. The USE security guards were, once again, so kind & sweet . . . they all rejoiced with us, as we walked through for the last time! YEAH!!!! :)

I was able to relive the adoption experience with MJ as I  "walked" thru it all again with her . . . I took her to the lower courts & then high court, she met my Pakistani barristers, visited Edhi Home & Dr. Rubina. I also took her to the Ministry of Interior where I pleaded 8 times for a Pakistani visa extension! It was wonderful to share these experiences with her . . . my journey became very "real" to her & I saw the understanding in her eyes with each "stop" along the journey's path. I feel so privileged to be able to share all of this with her!

Joel arrived a week after MJ & we are all now experiencing the sights & sounds of Pakistan. A wonderful day trip to the mountains of Murree, Pakistan (Himalayan mountains). Joel loved seeing the beauty of northern Pakistan. He was shocked (as are most people) at the natural beauty that Pakistan has. No, it is not just "desert"! LOL!

I still have to "pack up" our life here in Pakistan, a somewhat bittersweet task! As I go through our small, little #25 guest house room, I separate "pack", "ship" & "donate" items. Each has such a special memory & I tuck the memories away. I smile, cry & laugh . . . as I relive & remember our "life" here in Pakistan. Wonderful memories to share with Gracy one day! Despite everything . . . I have come to love this country . . . learned to love my daughter's birth place & I can truly say . . . I now understand the culture & country of Pakistan (NO, it is not the awful country everyone thinks it is!). We are leaving Pakistan, but this is not "good by". I have spent "pockets of time" saying farewell to all my dear Pakistani friends.

The hardest farewell of all - leaving New Cape Grace Guest House & the Meghji family - Papa Karim, Sameer & Shelina - Tears fall easily when I think of how much we will miss them. How much a part of our extended family they have become, more than just friends! I watch Gracy with everyone (Papa, Sameer/Shelina & staff), as they teach her "Gracy going to 'merica" & I again tuck special memories in my heart to share with her one day . . . about a special guest house & family, where cultural barriers simply don't exist & global borders are transparent. They lovingly allowed us in their hearts & loved a baby girl . . . just because! The guest house was our "calm, safe harbor" in the midst of the "storm". There are no words to describe my bittersweet feelings about leaving this wonderful, peaceful place that "saved" us! 

I will miss all my special friends that I have made here . . . I have very mixed emotions when I think of leaving Pakistan. But . . . we are just leaving, we are not saying "good bye". The friendships & relationships will last a life time. And, in our case . . . the "end does justify the means". Our time spent in Pakistan was well worth our efforts . . . the efforts of doing good are always rewarded!

And, then I look at my sweet Nicholas . . . now 9.5 years old. I have "missed" being with him for 16+ months, almost 1.5 years! I know I'll never be able to get that time back, my heart aches & I grieve over the loss of those days with him, but I do know Marina Grace has needed me here, in Pakistan. 

And, yes, I "think" about how my own US gov't has handled or "mishandled" this case in comparison to how Pakistan has handled this case . . . I was placed in such a difficult position . . . no parent should have to "choose" between their children due to "bureaucratic", mismanagement!!! I am just so jaded by our supposed superior US systems that are just so very, very "broken"! But . . . that is a discussion for another day . . . it is now time for rejoicing . . . !

I anxiously look forward to having BOTH my children in my arms . . . at last!!! 

So, we are finally Coming Home! :) We leave Pakistan early morning, 5/20/12 & will fly back with my sister (MJ) & nephew (Joel) - Amazing how that "worked" out! 

Itinerary

1st leg (5/20) - 3.5 hour flight from Islamabad to Dubai

2nd leg (5/20) - 16.5 hour flight from Dubai to Houston, TX

3rd leg (5/20) - 3 hour care drive from Houston to Austin, TX (spend the night)

4th leg (5/21) -  1 hour flight from Austin to Dallas

5th leg (5/21) - 1 hour flight from Dallas to Tulsa  Arrival - Southwest Airlines - Mon, May 21, 2012 05:20 PM  

I have had many ask me about "meeting/greeting" us at the airport . . . I say, "Alert the Media! Let's CELEBRATE!"! Everyone who would like to meet & greet us at the airport, "Ajah" ("come on" in Urdu)!!! :)

So . . . We will see you all very SOON!!!  

As I take a final blog moment to reflect . . . The question is "Would I do it again?" - there is NO hesitation, absolutely, without a single doubt . . . for these 2 children . . . I would do it all again! I stand in awe of the miraculous stories of my precious children! As I have always said, I am simply their "stepping stone" . . . . from their institutionalized life "here", to their future potential "there" with love & Mama . . . the future is unknown, but we look forward to a precious, wonderful life of Love! Both Nicky & Gracy are pure JOY . . . And, the loves of my life! :)

With a humbled, sincere heart . . . Thank You - for all your encouragement & support . . . 

Mama, Nicky & Gracy (& Uppa D)

(aka Nancy Baney family)