Hello, Dear Family & Friends . . .
As I sit and relax with my tea, I take a moment to reflect back on
the year . . . 2012 has certainly been divided between major highs and major
lows. And, Yes, even though it has been a very difficult year . . . it has been
like “No Other” Year!
At the top of the year's memory list was our miracle Homecoming for
Gracy the end of May from Pakistan!
Stepping off the final flight onto Oklahoma soil was such an emotional moment,
Mama was so very thankful and Gracy was, well as a very tired toddler should be
. . . peacefully asleep. And, as we walked through security to the waiting crowd
of family and friends . . . Mama was speechless as happy tears fell. What a
wonderful sight! After 1.5 years of separation, it felt so good to finally hold
BOTH my children in my arms . . . at LAST!
Marina Grace - Our "Gracy Girl" is now 3.5 years old!
She turned 3 in June and her
birthday was celebrated at Silver Dollar City in Branson, Missouri. In July, a big “Birthday/Homecoming”
celebration was held to welcome Gracy home to the US. Most of the summer was
spent compiling new medical evaluations to determine her medical needs.
Medically she is doing very well and all medical evals have resulted with a
“Hmmm, yes, there is something there . . . but she’s developing like there is
nothing there . . . let’s move forward with a “watch & wait” medical plan .
. . no surgeries needed, at this point!” Gracy’s speech pathologist is amazed
at how she accommodates for her tongue tie. Over a short few months, she has
grown so much and her English has really blossomed (Mama just has to translate
sometimes). She continues to meet or exceed all major, age-appropriate
milestones! Outside of several fevers/colds (new American germs), her
adjustment to the US has been without any complications. She is just perfect! J
Gracy is “action waiting to happen” from the moment she wakes up .
. . until her little head hits the pillow at night. She is just ADORABLE . . .
and a HANDFULL! She has no fear, which resulted in a broken arm in July! You can’t turn your back for a
second when she is around water, animals or in a store (recent missing child
“Amber Alert” in Kohls). Yet . . . she is such a “girly girl”. Her FAVORITE
thing right now is Mama’s “lip-lip” (yes, my lipstick & each lipstick has a
G mark!) and “dress-up” (including hat, purse & shoes!) One night recently,
I woke up in the middle of the night and found Gracy “dressing-up” with all the
clothes from her closet on the floor! I
always call her my Sweet Pea, but now I also lovingly call her my “Sweet Mess”!
J She LOVES to sing/dance . . . I
just smile as she serenades me from her car seat during our daily errands,
always reminding me of my adorable blessing.
And, a night-night doesn’t go by without singing her favorite song . . .
“You Are My Sunshine.” She dances to any kind of music and I love to watch her
as she twirls and pirouettes and “shakes it all about”. She is so much fun!
Nicholas Ivan – Now in double digits . . . Nicky was a big 10
years old in December! He is
definitely Mama’s “big boy” now. While I was in Pakistan, he grew and changed
so much. Once I returned . . . Oh, My . . . Where did my little boy go? . . . a
very bittersweet adjustment for Mama. Over the last 6 months, we have slowly
worked our way back to each other.
Nick (no longer, really wanting to be called Nick-y, although Mama
slips many times J) is in the 4th grade
and doing just great in school. His love of sports continues, and our “All
Star” added a new sport, Football, to his increasing busy schedule. Soccer,
Baseball, Basketball, Football, he doesn’t miss a season without playing some
kind of sport and here at year-end he is playing 2 sports, Basketball/Soccer (2
sports in a season is something Mama said she would never do . . . but soccer
is a weekend, indoor conditioning game with thankfully NO practices). It seems Baseball
is still the fav, but any sport will do (even a cricket bat/ball from
Pakistan!) Nick is a very artistic/creative boy as well. He loves his music and
is playing the piano for the 3rd year. His December recital was beautiful and his musical accomplishments were
recognized with 2, 2nd place awards. He is also playing the recorder
in school music and he marches around the house to the tune of “Hot Cross
Buns”! He really enjoys music of any kind, any instrument and he loves to “pluck”
out a tune by ear. Christmas brought him musical electronics, key board and
drum set . . . now, he is our “Rock Star”! His creative side also includes a
love of art and his art teacher recently told me, “Nick just intuitively gets
it”. Since Mama can’t draw a straight line, I wasn’t exactly sure what that meant,
until a recent project, “The Nativity, This Great Day” . . . amazing and beautiful!
The very 1st moment I saw my children, my heart
instantly loved them as my “son & daughter”, but becoming “brother &
sister” has had its unique challenges. We work at it every day, slowly . . .
and, after 6 months, I can see progress and I’m proud of how far we have come as
a family . . . some days it is 2 steps forward and 1 step backward . . . but
still moving forward! Gracy adores her big brother and Nick is starting to
think that having a little sister isn’t so bad . . . after all! We were shopping
one evening recently and Nick protectively held Gracy’s hand as they crossed
the busy traffic. I watched from behind and smiled. As joy filled my heart, I
thought, “Could this be the beginning of love? Or, maybe perhaps, just deep
like!” J I’m so very proud of my children
. . . They are both pure JOY and the LOVES of my Life!
Katy Sue –
Our sweet Katy dog is now 11.5+ years old (12 next April)! She is really
starting to slow down, but given enough attempts, she can still jump up into
the back of the SUV (however, she usually plants her front paws on the bumper
& then looks at Mama to help her the rest of the way!) She LOVES when N/G
play with her (as long as she can recline). The favorite is to play “doctor”
(since Gracy’s broken arm, both kids love to use the splint wraps on Katy).
Katy walks around with her legs wrapped daily and never seems to mind. She is
the perfect doggie for Gracy . . . when Katy has had enough of Gracy, Katy just
simply gets up and finds a quiet place to hide from Gracy! She’ll still do
anything for an ear rub. And, yes . . . Katy and Mama STILL fight over Mama’s
chair!
Mama/Mommy/Mom – I will answer to “any of the above”! J The best word to describe my
life these days . . . Busy with a capital “B”! Busy with the children and Busy
managing LIFE! Yes, there are a few “fair, to partly cloudy” days and “how did
I get here?” days, but overall, I’m doing well. I do have to admit, the
adjustments to life these days have been challenging and I’m in such a very
different place today than a couple of years ago or even just 1 year ago! But
life is about change and I simply embrace it with Joy.
I’m still very busy with legal issues for Gracy’s adoption case.
Gracy is here in the US on a Humanitarian Parole, a temporary approval to
reside in the US for 2 years. During that time, many steps of US approval are
required for Gracy to live in the US permanently as my daughter (I currently have
permanent legal guardianship). As of now, we are only about 50% complete and
I’m currently working on the US adoption (hopefully an adoption hearing in March). Nothing in Gracy’s case has
been easy and the US adoption is no exception . . . but I’m an “old hand” at
working through the complex/challenging details and consider it “all Joy” (nothing
surprises me anymore!). Once we have a
legal parent/child relationship through a US adoption decree, Gracy can move
forward through the permanent US immigration process and then US citizenship. I
ask you to please keep us in your prayers as we continue forward with Gracy’s
case. Please pray for softened hearts . . . for a little girl’s best interests.
I haven’t been able to carve out much time to write in the last
year (except for legal documents! J) . . . and the out-of-date blog and facebook show it! J But, I do plan on updating as
soon as I can. So if you would like to follow along . . . nrbfamily.blogspot.com (The blog is public, once
again). My Facebook, account ID – nbaney.
Other events of the year – In January,
after a 5 week visit home to the US (seems like a lifetime ago), Mama’s return
trip to Pakistan to again take up the USCIS fight for Gracy to live in the US.
In February, a trip to Murree,
Pakistan (Himalayan mountains) for Gracy’s 1st snow. In April, Gracy’s Humanitarian Parole
approval. In May, Shorman family
visit to Islamabad, Pakistan - Aunt MJ/”ChaChi” and Joel (sister Mary Jane
Shorman & nephew Joel Shorman). In July,
a family vacation to Austin, Texas over July 4th. In September, our 8th Familiversary
(changed from “Gotcha Day” since September is now the significant month both the children and I became “family”;
N 2004 & MG 2009). And, as always, it was a beautiful autumn day at the
park with balloons going up, up, up - our traditional balloon release in honor
of orphans. In November,
Thanksgiving on the Baney farm in Nebraska with G’ma/G’pa. The highlight of the
trip was introducing Gracy to family and riding horses, complete with cowboy
hats! Over the year, so many “firsts” for Gracy and it has been so fun watching
her embrace her new US life.
When I was working as a project manager, after project completion the
project team would document “Lessons Learned” to help gain wisdom for future
projects. Home now for 6 months I’ve been able to reflect . . . What are my
“Lessons Learned” over the last year? I can truly say that so many areas of my
life have been touched . . . I’m richer, I’m poorer. I’ve won, I’ve lost. I’m a
stronger person and yet, weaker as well. I’ve learned that “No” doesn’t have to
mean “The End”. I’ve learned there are deeper reserves to Perseverance, Patience,
Peace. I’ve learned that “calm” can come with just 1 word, my word is . . . “Grace”. I’ve learned there are no perfect people,
only a perfect God that uses people perfectly for His perfect plan.
And, as we come to the end of 2012
. . . I’m so very, very thankful for those that stand alongside my beautiful
and amazing family. Family - The “constant” Uppa D (cousin Dalend Baney), who
is co-parent; my family, whose encouragement and support has resulted in renewed
relationships. New Friends - My life has been enriched beyond words with the
people I have met and become close to over the last year, here in the US, in
Pakistan and all around the world. Old friends - It has been wonderful to
reconnect with everyone. If I haven’t said hello to you, please send me an
email, novokbb2@yahoo.com.
As I look around me, I see toys on the floor, dishes in the sink,
laundry piled high . . . but, my son is happily reading in his room and my
little daughter is napping with “no cares in the world”. We are safe and warm .
. . together as a family. And, above all else, we treasure ALL our wonderful
Blessings . . . health, accomplishment, growth, purpose, fellowship, faith,
childhood, family, laughter and love. And, yes, moments of sadness, challenges,
disappointment and pain, but opportunities for blessings as well.
Our Heavenly
Father gives us a strong, steady spirit to move forward through it all.
“Count it ALL Joy . . . “ (James 1).
With love to all our
family & friends,
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