I have noticed that I have strayed away from my joyful center!
2008 and the 1st 6 months of 2009 have been full of many twists and turns. I have encountered so many different "changes" in family, work and the adoption process.
In January 2008, I began the heart wrenching decision to switch agencies. In April the Kemerovo region closed and I switched regions. My dear Pappa Earl (my precious, precious mentor) became sick and I took over as interim manager while he was on LOA. Then in May we learned that our dear Pappa Earl was diagnosed with terminal cancer. In June, I encountered issues with members of my immediate family that take me to my knees over and over again. In July, August and September, I received multiple referrals that took me to a place of heart wrenching decisions and despair. In October, we lost precious Pappa Earl. In November, I made another heart wrenching decision to switch to another agency (3 new dossiers in 1 year!). Along with many, many others in the 2008 economy crash, I lost a significant amount in my retirement, stock and adoption fund. In 2009, I became permanent manager of our department and although wonderful, my work load has increased significantly.
AND, my baby girl still isn't home!!!
Can anyone say STRESSFUL!!! I was sinking deeper and deeper into a "survival" state!
But . . . that is so ALL about ME!!! During that time, I had lost the perspective I needed to see the bigger picture. Really, shame on me! Through all MY twists and turns there have been wonderful constants and JOYs that I simply didn't and haven't acknowledged. Again, shame on me!
Easy has never been my middle name and I have struggled and weathered through many trials in my life. And, I have had a mantra for about 10 years now, "Consider it all Joy" from my favorite chapter in the Bible, James 1. Whenever I am going through a trial, it gives me perspective. And, it is the reason the 1st song on my play list is "Joy in the Journey".
So, through all of my life trials, these are my JOY's today . . .
My wonderful God, Lord & Savior! Lately, I have tried to "push through" on my own strength instead of allowing my strength to come from my center, my source - my Lord! I have been been convicted to search my heart and find the JOY, once again, in my journey.
My wonderful Son! He is the light that shines every day for me. He is the love of my life! It is pure JOY to be his parent, his mama.
My wonderful cousin/friend, Uppa D! He is my co-parent. He is my constant "go to person". He holds me steady, holds me accountable, holds me to the standard he knows is the best of ME! He has lovingly told me that I have "hardened" lately and I'm hard on others and on myself. Thank you Uppa D, for lovingly telling me what I need to hear. You are pure JOY in my life and I don't tell you that enough!
My wonderful career. Although stressful at times and with huge transitional changes lately, I have been given a great priviledge with my professional work. I have such a JOY-ful group where we try to keep it all in perspective and have such fun, but also take on the responsibility of our jobs. I think a fun departmental lunch is in order! I pray Pappa Earl is looking down with a smile. I learned from the best!
I'm stopping for a brief, objective "look around". . . I see I am so richly blessed! Slowly, my JOY is returning.
I leave you today with my favorite scripture passage from James 1. I hope that it brings you peace and joy in your journey, as it has done for me in the past . . . and now again today.
James 1
. . . 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
. . .
12 Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.
. . .
17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows . . .
Find your JOY - in your trials today!
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