Year End 2013 ... Where are We Now?

Time to relax and exhale after a very busy Christmas with 2 precious children! As I sit with my coffee (ahhh, caffeine!) and start writing, I take a moment to reflect back on the year ... 2013 has truly been the busiest year (aka the most stressful year) I can remember (Yes, even more stressful than living in Pakistan)! I mentally list all that has been accomplished … and, I’m amazed at how it has all gotten DONE! I chuckle to myself because after each year, I think that the “next” year will be less hectic, but with 2 children (1 now a “tween” & 1 now a “preschooler”) the “busy” just moves J! ...  I just take a deep breath, exhale and consider it ALL Joy! J

So, what has gotten done? Very exciting news! ... But we will get to that later ... Right now, the “precious-ness” of my children! 

Nicholas Ivan – turned 11 years old in December, entrenched now as a “tween”! and in the 5^th grade. He is just such a conversationalist and negotiator these days, knowing “something” about “everything”. I chuckle as I watch him ... “working out a deal” with Mama. He is still very active in sports; Baseball, Soccer, Basketball, Football. Baseball (Mar, Apr, May) and Football (Aug, Sep, Oct) rank up there as the favs these days. Using his soccer skills, he was field goal kicker for his football team ... and loved it! He still absolutely loves baseball, especially pitcher (his fav). He is talking about swimming as his next sport (can’t let his little sister swim past him!) or maybe karate or even cricket (from the Meghji family in Pakistan)! Who knows what is next? He is just an all-around sports nut! 

Mama however, keeps him grounded in other things too ... he also has a gift of music and art, and excels in so many other areas. He is in his 4^th year of piano and I just love to hear him play. His formal musical recital was in December and he played“Minuet in G” by Bach ... absolutely beautiful! He has also played in Chapel for school ... with his “buddies” tackling him afterwards (I think in “tween” language that means they were proud of him? J) He truly loves to just pluck out a tune, playing by ear ... such a wonderful gift. And, he also loves to draw ... many versions of cars, trucks, planes are displayed on the refrigerator! He has made “artist of the week” at school and I love to see his artwork come home. I’m building his “collection” to be framed and hung (a bigger house is needed!) Nick also participates in Webelos (Cub Scouts) and raced his pinewood derby car to several wins in January. Camping (Sept-Oct) has become a scouting activity, with Mama as his camping buddy in October. I was in Pakistan when he had his “Mommy and Me” campout (2011 Uppa D, cousin Dalend Baney, was Mommy’s substitute) so we made up for it this year. The weather was perfect, the scenic woods were picturesque, the stars were magnificent, the tent was comfortable with a warm fire outside ... and it didn’t rain (very important for Mama’s camping enjoyment!) I just have so much fun with my Nicholas ... He is just pure JOY and the Love of my Life! J

Marina Grace - Our "Gracy Girl" is now 4.5 years old, turning 4 in June. She is the “whirlwind” in our family (Mama has to stay about 2 steps ahead of her at all times!) She is so active she becomes a “blur” at times. She moves in a constant “skip” (she loves, loves, loves to skip). Our regular caution to Gracy is “Slow down, you’re moving too fast!” During January-May, Gymnastics, Swimming and Soccer were Gracy activities ... and she loved it all! During soccer games, she would hold hands with another little girl and skip up and down the field ... Too Cute! J During the summer she learned to ride her big-girl bike (with training wheels) and she “decided” she no longer needs to wear a life-jacket swimming (Mama, however,  is the final decider!). She has amazed us all with her swimming ability ... at 4 years old, she swims down to the bottom of the pool, turns summer saults and back flips under water (without holding her nose!) and her cannon ball is outstanding (not much splash for such a little girl, but her form is perfect!). She started full-time pre-school in August and loves every minute of it. She can count up to 20, sing her ABC song and write her name ... she is so proud! (Mama too). I again love the toddler run to Mama at pick-up time, the breath-taking hug, all smiles and sticky kisses! She loves to read books and our bedtime routine is very important to her with “read another book, Mama?” She is a petite, not a very big-around little girl, but all arms and legs! She has always had “no fear”, giving it her all, 100% ... trying everything and anything before she even thinks! (Mama’s prayer is “Lord, protect her & slow her down!”). Dancing and singing are also favorites and she started ballet and tap in September. She loves to put on a “show” for us and loves to dance as her big brother plays the piano (truly, it is the most entertaining show in town! J). She is still a very “girly-girl” loving dress-up, make-up (caught applying Mama’s make-up so many times!) and she loves to play with hair (she finally succeeded in cutting her hair, but Mama was able to “trim”). With her big, bright, beautiful brown eyes that just twinkle when she smiles and laughs ... long beautiful brown hair that just shines ... Gracy is just beautiful, adorable and precious! J

On her medical front, we do have a diagnosis for Gracy’s neurological condition, Ventriculomegaly. No one knows when or how, but a blockage was formed in the Cerebral Spinal System inside Gracy’s brain and created a pooling of the cerebral spinal fluid, expanding the CSF ventricles to accommodate the extra fluid. Although enlarged brain ventricles is a major symptom of Hydrocephalus (Pakistan diagnosis), Gracy does not exhibit any other symptoms of Hydrocephalus ... so a reduced diagnosis. She is expected to eventually grow into her 90+% sized head! J Gracy’s severe tongue tie is actually the more significant medical issue for her at this time. Her tongue was released (July 2011 in Pakistan) and her language acquisition/English comprehension is now 100% for a 4 year old, but she struggles with speech articulation (Mama translates!). So, Gracy is in speech therapy, working on speech articulation. She loves speech therapy (fun, fun, fun!) She has exceeded and gained in all areas. When I took custody of Gracy in January 2011, her height was < 2% on the growth chart and her weight was not even on the growth chart. After 17 months in Pakistan, major supplements, massive doses of vitamins and iron, she arrived in the US, 2012 at a whopping 25% for height and 15% for weight.  Now ... 1.5 years later, she has gained 6 pounds and grown 6 inches, she is now 50% height and weight, YEAH! She is and always has been just perfect! My baby girl is growing up so very fast ... She is just pure JOY and the Love of my Life! J

Katy Sue – On a very, very sad note ... we lost our doggie in April (April 13, 2001-April 5, 2013). After losing the battle with a tumor, Katy passed away in her sleep, on a warm spring night, she was 12 years old ... It is still very hard to comprehend the loss of Katy. She was my doggie, my 1^st born, my sweet Katy dog.  I grieve every day and I miss her so much . . .

Mama/Mommy/Mom – I’ll just copy from last year’s letter ... “The best word to describe my life these days ... Busy with a capital “B”! Busy with the children and Busy managing LIFE!” ... I’m trying to “reinvent” myself these days ... into what I’m not exactly sure ... but I’ll get there! J  As I said last year, “Life is about change and I simply embrace it with Joy.”

OK, so now for the exciting news about Gracy’s legal case! On September 27, 2013 a US adoption decree was granted and signed ... Marina Grace Baney became officially and legally my daughter and I became officially and legally her mother! J Such a surreal and amazing moment in time, after 4.5 years of obstacles! Yes, it has been an overwhelming, extremely busy and exhausting year with 3 different legal processes for Gracy’s case. First, in February, beginning a new US domestic Home Study, finally completed in June (US adoption requirement). Second, the US Petition for Adoption, completed in August, many document revisions later, we were surprised by the Oklahoma family courts with an expedited court hearing date in September! Third, Gracy’s US immigration dossier for US permanent residency and US citizenship (US adoption decree & certificate of foreign birth a requirement). This “last” completed dossier was sent to our immigration attorney early December. We are hoping to file with USCIS for residency and citizenship right after the 1^st of 2014! Then, a 3-6 month wait for the ruling. Gracy’s Humanitarian Parole expires late May, 2014 so timing will be very close. Many have asked ... (1) “Is this it?” and (2) “Can she still be deported?” Those answers are (1) Yes, this is it! The final step is her permanent residency and US citizenship. We are hoping for a favorable ruling, but also know it may take several attempts, due to the case’s history. (2) Yes, she can still be deported under certain circumstances, but probably unlikely that will happen (but, nothing surprises me anymore!). And, we will take it as it comes, as a FAMILY! I ask you to please keep us in your prayers as we cross the finish line with Gracy’s case. Please pray for softened hearts ... for a little girl’s best interests.

So, that has been Mama’s year, paperwork, documents and dossers ... #1, #2 and #3! And, of course, the joy of parenting Nicky and Gracy! ... Believe me, there were many, many plates spinning in the air, each one a very “full” plate! The family blog (nrbfamily.blogspot.com) is so out-of-date!, but if you would like to read our adoption stories, the blog still has the many details of 2007-2012. And, I have pictures and a few updates from 2012 to current date on Facebook (ID nbaney). As for, “The Book” ... well, we will see about that ... maybe 2014 will give me time to turn my attention to consider another major project?  J

Other events of the year – In February, G’ma came to visit and broke her leg! G’ma stayed in Tulsa for surgery and rehab for 3+ months. An unfortunate accident, but we thoroughly enjoyed G’ma every day during her extended stay, until late May when she was finally able to travel home to Nebraska. April was Gracy’s Pakistani “Gotcha Day”. In June, Gracy’s 4^th b-day with a long weekend and baseball tournament in Branson, MO /Silver Dollar City and FUN! In July, a 10-day vacation in Austin, TX with the Shorman’s (Mama’s sister) and so many fun activities (complete with iFLY, indoor sky diving for Nick!). August, start of 5^th grade for Nicky and pre-school for Gracy. September, is now “Gotcha Day” for BOTH children, we celebrated with another fun trip to Branson/Silver Dollar City in MO! “Gotcha Day” wouldn’t be complete without our traditional “balloon release” in honor of global orphans ... we somehow worked it all in! October, a much-needed, relaxing 2 week vacation for Mama in Dubai, UAE with Karim Meghji (owner of the amazing Pakistani guest house we stayed 2011-2012). He is wonderful “Papa” and we video chat every day!  November, a wonderful Thanksgiving trip to G’ma/G’pa’s farm (complete with horseback riding!). December, Nick’s b-day (wild sleepover!) and finally ending the year with an amazing Christmas and an ice storm that gave everything a sparkle and a magical touch!

Whew, 2013 is now over! As I look around me, I STILL see toys on the floor, dishes in the sink, laundry piled high . . . but, LIFE has finally normalized ... I think? We are healthy and happy, safe and warm , together as a family looking forward to a new year, 2014! And, above all else, we treasure ALL our wonderful Blessings ... health, accomplishment, growth, purpose, fellowship, faith, childhood, family, laughter and love. And, yes, moments of sadness, challenges, disappointment and pain, but opportunities for blessings as well.

Our Heavenly Father gives us a strong, steady spirit to move forward through it all.

“Count it ALL Joy . . . “ (James 1)

With love to all our family & friends,

Nancy, Nicky & Gracy Baney (& Uppa D)