Closed adoptions
Many adoptive parents choose EE adoptions because they are closed. No birth family contact.
Birth Parents are not allowed to inquire about their children once parental rights are terminated.
i. Parental rights given up by birth parents
ii. Parental rights terminated by state
iii. According to Russian law, birth parents do not have the right to know what happens to their children & will not be told if the child is adopted.
Other family members may/may not be allowed to inquire about the children.
The Adoptive Family is the one in control. Only the Adoptive Family can provide & give accurate information about the adoption to the Birth Family.
B. Why do a Birth Family Search?
Your child is asking questions that you do not have adequate information to provide the answer for.
Finding other birth siblings still in orphanages
i. Ministry of Education (MOE) only – no birth family search
ii. Both MOE & birth family search.
Finding medical history of your child
Validating information in legal documents
i. birth certificates
ii. court transcripts
Finding & Recording very specific birth family information
i. Parents name & family members name
ii. Addresses & area where birth family lives
iii. Miscellaneous/general questions
Creating a connection with the birth family
i. 1 X Only
ii. Continuous
C. What are the adoptive family’s concerns about a Birth Family Search?
Is the Knowing better than the Not Knowing?
Will my role as the “parent” be challenged? How will it change?
What are the costs involved? - ranges from $500 to $2,000
What do I write in a birth family letter?
What if multiple b-siblings are found & available for adoption?
What if the birth family cannot be found?
What if the birth family is living an “unsocial way” of life?
What if the birth family asks for financial support?
What if the birth family wants the adoptive family’s specific information? - Name, address, etc.
What if the birth family wants visitation with the child?
D. Are you ready to do a Birth Family Search?
What is your motivation?
What is your emotional state?
E. How to Handle the Results of a Birth Family Search?
What do you need to be prepared for?
What are the emotions involved?
If the situation is needy - Do you offer financial support?
How does my role as “parent” change?
F. After the Birth Family Search – Were do you go from here?
Continuing contact?
i. At what point is the searcher no longer needed?
ii. At what point does the adoptive family give disclosure?
Continuing searches?
i. How long do you search?
Visitation?
i. When do you agree on visitation?
Heritage Trips?
G. How do I begin sharing the birth family information with my adoptive child?
Adoption foundation already laid at the time of adoption & on-going
As they ask questions
Age appropriate
This parent’s opinion & perception – “When I made the decision to adopt from Russia, I had no idea I would be given the birth family situation I received. However, God has a perfect plan for my family & I will trust Him to give us the “pieces” as we are ready. Our birth family search is truly a blessing not a burden. It is a combining of 2 families that dearly love a little boy & want the very best for him. I feel privileged to share this child with his birth family. I wholeheartedly encourage birth family searches. However, they must be done with appropriate timing, soul searching & gracious motivation."
“The KNOWING is so much better than the NOT KNOWING!”
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